The Wife that He Deserves

I love my husband. I really, really do.

He is a hard worker, he makes me laugh, he loves me and our son more than anything else. He treats me like a queen and does all that he can do to make us all happy. He sacrifices a lot for the sake of our family and I could not ask for a better man to spend the rest of my life with. God definitely chose us to be together because no one else on this Earth could compliment me the way that he does. Everything about us fits together; especially our personalities. I am quiet and tend to overlook the petty things that cause conflict, where he can be loud and likes to make sure everyone knows where he stands on a situation. Nothing wrong with that. Especially considering that I am usually the one that tends to avoid conflict. I just have no interest in arguing about things that generally don’t matter. He’s great. He really, really is.

But sometimes, he drives me crazy. Sometimes we are so different that we butt-heads and really get one another angry. {I swear, sometimes I think he does it on purpose, just to get me frustrated.} There are few things that really get me going and push my buttons, and he knows exactly what those things are and has no problems just pushing away. I don’t mind being a stay at home mom and doing the cleaning. Contrary to what a lot of women believe, I don’t think asking him to come home and tend to the house is very fair after he works 8 and 9 hours a day during the week. BUT when I spend the same 8 or 9 hours during the day cleaning-better yet scrubbing-the house, folding the clothes, chasing a toddler, and picking up toys and he comes in and leaves clothes all over the floor?! I get extremely ill and very, very frustrated and tend to lash out unknowlingly. I ask him calmly to put his things away and when he doesn’t, I pick them up like a good housewife should.
  
Or when I am in need of a good hug and he is too busy to offer one…
Or when I want to talk about his day at work, just for the sake of not discussing juice & diapers for the 90 millionth time that week, and he says that his day was “fine”…
Or when I ask really sweetly, or even seductively, for a kiss while he is playing the computer or watching ESPN, and all I get is a hen peck while he keeps one eye focused on the TV…
 
Oh your husband does that to? So you understand what I mean, right? Doesn’t it drive you up the WALL!?
 

When we first got married, I tried to fix my husband. I had in my mind this little mold that I thought he should fit into. He was supposed to do everything that I liked, watch the movies and the TV shows I wanted to watch, when I wanted to watch them. He was supposed to have sex every single time I wanted to, and never bat an eyelash [never was he to be too tired or sore from work. I mean, hello, he’s a man…] And sports? Never would my husband want to watch baseball or football endlessly. But that’s not real life. That’s not marriage. That’s not my husband. And it’s taken me a long time to be ok with that.

 

In the beginning, when these things arose, I got mad. I treated my husband unfairly and in a hateful manner. When conflict came up, rather than trying to fix the situation in a kind, calm manner, I delt with them with frustration and unkindness. I hated the fact that the man that I married didn’t “fit” into my ideal marriage plan. He wasn’t doing the things that I thought he needed to do. He wasn’t treating me the way that I thought I deserved to be treated. And I wasn’t happy.

 

I’ve begun to really notice some strange activity in our culture. This idealogy that women are supposed to “train” their husbands and “teach them” how to behave. What are they dogs? What ever happened to the Christian idea of marriage? That the man is the head of the household? That men and women are supposed to be helpmates and encourage one another? That while we have differences and think the exact opposite, we are created to complement one another? I tell ya, this idea that women are supposed to rule the roost over their husbands makes me sick. {Think Kate Gosselin and the way she degraded and talked to Jon like he was an incompetant.}

 

Marriage is sacred. It was created to be beautiful. And God had his idea of which role each of us was to play in his perfect marriage. As a wife, I have had much to learn about my duties in our marriage. Ever read Proverbs 31 or Titus 2? Talk about a standard of living! When we started attending our church several months ago, they were getting ready to begin a class on the Elizabeth George novel “A Woman After God’s Own Heart.” {I encourage you to READ this BOOK if you haven’t yet. It will change your perspective on marriage and parenting like you wouldn’t believe!} The class was very indepth and very informative on the kind of wife, homemaker, and mother I should be. God has a lot of plans for us as women. He really does. It’s just a matter of choosing to let him change you.
 
 
 
I’m not saying that men have no responsibilities in marriage. The exact opposite actually. But as a wife, how can you judge the job your husband is doing, when you aren’t doing yours? That’s been the hardest thing for me to learn. How to be the right kind of wife. And it’s something that God teaches me and shows me every single day. The biggest thing God has taught me is that I can’t change my husband. No matter how hard I try. God is the creator of all things and he made my husband the way that he is for a reason. He essentially created him for me to compliment me. Rather than spending my time nagging my husband to do things differently and consistently tell ing him what it is I think he is doing wrong, I  have to turn him over to God.
 
 
If you’ve never read any of “The Power of Praying” books, by Stormie Omartian I encourage you to purchase one. These are fantastic books to teach you not only what to pray for, but how to pray it. I bought her “Power of a Praying Wife” book for $7 and it has made all of the difference in our marriage. By turning my husband over to the Lord, I know that he is in the best of hands. By letting God change him, he is changed from the inside rather than just because I keep nagging him. And God always one ups me. He always changes my husband in even better ways than I can imagine. And he changes me. He shows me things that I need to work on. He shows me that I am not the perfect wife he created me to be. And that’s what my husband deserves. He deserves the very best wife he can have. He deserves someone who strives to be all that she can be. He deserves a Godly Wife who prays for him and encourages him spiritually. He deserves the right kind of wife. And that’s what I want to give him.
 
 
 
So, for now, I will tolerate the clothes on the floor {although, admittingly, I probably won’t do it without atleast asking him to pick them up.} I will sit and watch sports with my husband. I will laugh with him when we watch stupid man TV shows. And I will continue to pray for him. Continue to love him. Continue to take care of him. Because that’s what he deserves. 
 
 
Courtney
Beautiful Mess 

The Gift of Kindness

We are sharing The Gift of Kindness during the month of December at The Tree of Life Church.

An act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up another individual … to do something nice for another, just because.

Some Acts of Kindness:
1. Give bouquet of homegrown flowers to a neighbor or friend.
2. Share your homegrown vegetables.
3. Pick up some extra vegetables or fruits to share from your farmers market.
4. Pass on an uplifting book to a friend or co-worker.
5. Mow your neighbor’s yard while they are away.
6. Send an uplifting card to a stranger.
7. Send a movie rental or coffee gift certificate to a stranger.
8. Bring up your neighbor’s garbage can on collection day.
9. Leave chocolate on your co-workers desk.
10. Buy a bunch of flowers for under $5, tie a ribbon with a Gift of Kindness card around each flower and leave it in a mailbox or on a car.
11. Make dinner for an elderly neighbor.
12. Smile at a stranger.
13. Use your skills and talents:
       Knit a scarf or hat
       Bake a dessert
      Grow a plant to give away
      Make homemade card
      Pass on a great book
      Make a candle
     Sing at a retirement or nursing home
     Play an instrument at a retirement or nursing home
     Pass on coupons and share buy one get one offers
     Offer to babysit for free
     Write a friends favorite quote in calligraphy and frame it
     Help a friends scrapbook her pictures
     Give a friend a makeover
14. Send an ecard.
15. Send a handwritten letter.
16. Pass on your children’s outgrown clothes.
17. Give a waiter or waitress a double tip.
18. Send requested items to soldier’s overseas.

As you can see it does not cost much to perform acts of kindness, just use your talents and skills and a little imagination.

Will you join us in sharing kindness throughout your world?

It’s All Because Of Jesus!

Ten I’s of Prayer #6

https://i0.wp.com/i438.photobucket.com/albums/qq107/mosherlynn/Invest2.jpgInvest

Invest. A word with a multitude of definitions, including to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.) as for a purpose or to achieve something, to clothe, attire, or dress, to cover, adorn, or envelop, to furnish with power, authority, or rank, or to endow or infuse with a quality or characteristic.

I find this very interesting. This is so saturated with applications. Let’s go over it again and make a list…

1) use, give, or devote time, talent, etc. as for a purpose or to achieve something
2) clothe, attire, dress
3) cover, adorn, envelop
4) furnish with power, authority, rank
5) endow or infuse with a quality or characteristic

Wow! Do you see the spiritual wealth in this?

Since this series is on prayer, what happens when we apply these to prayer?

First, do we invest part of our time in prayer to take advantage of all this, of all that God has in store for us? Investing time in prayer has a myriad of purposes. Foremost, prayer is a private, exclusive audience with the Creator of heaven, in which we spend time in His presence to worship Him and to love Him.

If we do not take time for prayer, our lives will be powerless and prosperless in all areas.

When we devote time in prayer, don’t we want to achieve the other things listed?

Such as having God…

* clothe us with salvation
* array us with righteousness and cover us with protection
* supply us with power and authority through the name of Jesus
* infuse us with the qualities and characteristics of Jesus, transforming us into His image and endowing us with the Holy Spirit

What do you think is God’s highest quality or characteristic that He desires to instill in us? Love? Peace? Justice? Joy? This is just my opinion but I think God’s highest characteristic is holiness with all else flowing from it.

Did you know the Word says we have been “called with a holy calling” (2 Tim. 1:9b)? By definition, we are called, bid by name, with a holy invitation, and we are “to walk worthy of the calling with which [we] were called.” (Eph. 4:1 NKJV)

As the disciple Peter said, “As He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’” (1 Peter 1:15-16 NKJV)

Do we allow the Lord to transform us into His holy image? If we don’t invest time in prayer and in the Word, to become like Jesus, we cannot become holy, because we’ll never know what holiness looks like.

The writer of Hebrews wrote, “Pursue…holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” (Heb. 12:14 NKJV)

If we desire to “see” the Lord, to meet with Him in prayer, we must come before the Throne of the Father cleansed of all unholiness, asking forgiveness through the shed blood of Jesus.

What do you pursue in prayer? Just to hand God your list of wants? God knows your prayer list. You can make your requests of Him but He desires more than anything else your attention, your worship, and your companionship.

He longs to share with you His heart’s desires for you, your family, your friends, your world. He longs to accomplish that above list, and more, in you and for you.

If your heart’s desire is to know the Lord and to be clothed, arrayed, covered, supplied with all God offers, and to be infused with holiness, spend time in His presence, for only then will deep affection blossom, resulting in a richer relationship with Him.

May all your prayer pursuits be holy ones.

~~Blessings, Lynn~~

Bread of Idleness

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27 NKJV

People can be difficult to live with. It’s easy to look the other way or pretend everything is okay when it is not. The idleness spoken of here is about failing to do what’s healthy and right in our relationships. The Proverbs 31 Woman knows what to do. She knows everything going on in her household. If a conflict arises, she springs into action. If someone’s feelings are hurt, she aids those involved to resolve their issue in a godly manner.

The imagery used “bread of idleness” helps us understand how doing nothing about a strained relationship can be satisfying in a warped kind of way. For bread satisfies. Depending on the type of bread, it can either be healthy or not so healthy. Take wheat bread for example. It’s supposed to be better for you than white bread. The bread of idleness is like an unhealthy type of bread we should avoid. What happens when we eat unhealthy bread? Nothing happens, at least right away. The consequences of a bad diet don’t exhibit themselves immediately. No, the problems arise later.

It’s the same with relationships. You can go along your merry way pretending all is well in your relationship. Ten years later find yourself, bitter and filled with resentment. That’s what the bread of idleness with do. So let’s learn from Proverbs 31 Woman and watch over our households by not eating the bread of idleness.

Lord Jesus, you alone cause all things to work for good to those who love you and are called according to your purposes. Help us to steer clear of the bread of idleness. Teach us to watch over our households diligently. In your precious name we pray, Amen.

© Elizabeth Marks, author of ThinkOnIt Devotions and has a heart for encouraging others with God’s Word. For more devotions, bible studies and a recommended book store, visit http://www.ThinkOnItDevotions.com today.

Thanks

Her children rise up and call her blessed; Proverbs 31:28 NKJV

This verse reminds me of a certain commercial for some kind of food. When the mother serves it, her child stands up on his chair and praises her for making it for them. It’s so unrealistic it is funny!

I never would have believed one day my kids would be thankful for all I have done for them…until I became thankful for my own mother. I was in my mid-thirties. One morning I was making a hot breakfast for my son and struggling with so many things to get ready before we had to leave. Then it hit me. Wow! My mother had made me a hot breakfast every day I lived with her. Not only that, but she never fussed over how much work it was! Now I understood what it meant to work so hard with little or no thanks. So realizing how long it took me, I now know one day my kids will understand just like I finally did. How wonderful the thought.

Don’t be discouraged when your children are not always thankful. A great verse to remember in that situation is Habakkuk 2:3 NKJV: “For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”

Lord Jesus, we are thankful you never give up on us. Help us never give up on our kids. Equip us to continue doing what is right without growing weary. In the end we will reap a harvest of right living. In your name we pray. Amen.

© Elizabeth Marks, author of ThinkOnIt Devotions and has a heart for encouraging others with God’s Word. For more devotions, bible studies and a recommended book store, visit http://www.ThinkOnItDevotions.com today.

Good Man = Good Woman

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23 NKJV

You have probably heard the saying “Behind every good man is a good woman”, well I happen to think that came from this verse. Here we see the Proverbs 31 woman’s husband is well known, probably successful too.

In this verse, we see the result of Proverbs 31 woman’s previous good deeds. Let’s look back to verse 11 and 12: “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” God has given woman certain gifts to help her husband. This woman apparently has used her gifts correctly, for her husband benefits.

Remember the original purpose of woman from Genesis was to be the man’s helpmeet, a companion suitable to him who helps him. When our gifts are used properly they will always build up our man and our family.

How does a man need our help? There might be many ways but let me share one from my own life. For example, it used to drive me crazy how my husband and son were always misplacing things like wallet, keys, glasses, phone, shoes, etc. But you know what? I always knew where to look for them. Once I realized this talent of finding things was actually a gift for helping my family life ran much smoother. Now, I embrace what used to make me crazy. It’s kind of fun being the one others depend on to help them stay organized.

However, it is possible to misuse our gifts. So as you help, do it with a humble heart. Be sincere with your help. Do not grumble about their problem with loosing things, but cheerfully do good instead. For the Bible says “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,” (Philippians 2:13-15).

Lord, thank you for gifts to help us help our families. Teach us to embrace the opportunities to use our gifts for your glory. In Jesus’ name Amen.

© Elizabeth Marks, author of ThinkOnIt Devotions and has a heart for encouraging others with God’s Word. For more devotions, bible studies and a recommended book store, visit http://www.ThinkOnItDevotions.com today.

Confidence in Him

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. Proverbs 31:21 NKJV

My family loves to go skiing. As you can imagine my job is to pack everything we will need for the trip. I take this responsibility seriously for it’s a long way from home and I don’t want to be caught without something we need. I take my time planning out what each person will wear each day of the trip. I even factor in the “snow play” days where we might need an extra change of clothes for our 3 year old. Why spend all this time planning? For the peace of mind it brings. The point of this personal story is rest. My work is thorough so I can rest assured all is taken care of which brings me peace of mind.

The same is true for Proverbs 31 woman. She cares for her household’s clothing needs. She doesn’t worry about the weather, for she has made them enough clothes to keep them warm. As she is diligent with her responsibilities she can rest as well. She has thought through everything and is prepared for anything. That brings her peace of mind.

How about you? Do you fret over what could happen? Or do you plan for it to happen and prepare for it?

Lord Jesus, thank you for the righteous robe you have given each of us. Due to your sacrifice for us we are able to stand before Father God with our heads held high covered by your righteousness. Thank you for loving us enough to die for us so we might live for you. Enable us to plan for the future and rest in your love. In Jesus’ name we pray Amen.


© Elizabeth Marks, author of ThinkOnIt Devotions and has a heart for encouraging others with God’s Word. For more devotions, bible studies and a recommended book store, visit
http://www.ThinkOnItDevotions.com today.

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