Many moms can become lonely. Friendships can be hard to keep up when your families’ needs come first. It is a wise woman who knows this. Yet even though we may know that sometimes our wishes and desires have to be put off, that doesn’t mean we feel any less lonely at times. It doesn’t mean that our hearts don’t yearn for some good girlfriends who can understand our soul.
Just as our children need good friends in their lives to walk alongside them, encourage them, and be strong for them during those times when they aren’t feeling so strong – so also, do we as adult women need this in our lives. In fact, just when we may need this the most (when we become mothers) is when it becomes the toughest to cultivate.
So, what do we do? What do you do when you feel like there is no extra time in the day to get together with another woman for lunch? What do you do if you are having a hard time making friends who you feel truly care about you and your family? What do you do when you feel really lonely for women friendships?
I have been on both ends of this spectrum. I’ve been thankful – most of my life – to have been able to easily make and keep friends wherever I’ve lived. I always thrived with girlfriends in my life to help teach me things about myself, to encourage me, and to just be a sounding board at times. Yet, I also hit what I call a “desert” period in my life with friendships. I’ve had close friends leave my life and holes have been left that created quite a deep loneliness in my heart. It was a new feeling for me.
As lonely as this time has been, God taught me some special truths through it that I wouldn’t have learned had I been filling my heart and mind with only the words from the mouths of friends. Instead, I was forced to go straight to the mouth of God for what He thought of me, what He wanted of me, and how He would help me. I learned that it is good to have no one to depend on at times other than my Lord. For so often we can let others fill His shoes in our life when that is not their place. And oftentimes we can lose a little bit of what makes us unique if we are in the company of women who are stronger, or more verbal than we are. But with God – all He shows us is our own reflection. It may not be one we want to see at times, or it may be just exactly what we need to see to encourage us to move onward. But it is pure, it is authentic, and it is full of love for us and our future.
Nothing can ever take the place of earthly friendships. As women, we are social beings and we were created that way on purpose. God knows we need friends. But if you find yourself in-between friendships, or maybe in a position where you’ve been praying for years for sweet, Godly friends to enter into your life – then be encouraged. I believe they will come for each one of us in God’s perfect timing. Until then, know that you have the best friend of all who is right there beside you. He wants you to unload your daily heartaches and burdens on His shoulders, share your dreams and hurts, ask Him His thoughts and perspective, and He wants to be able to encourage you and show you just how beautiful and lovely you truly are. He wants to show you what HE sees in you so that you can blossom as a woman.
You can have a very special friendship with Him that will help hold you together until those women come. And you will find that even when they do, God will be the first person that you turn to with all those thoughts and feelings that you’d normally run to a girlfriend with. She’ll still be there to hear them – but they will be filtered with the wisdom, grace, love, and devotion of your Heavenly Father. The best friend a woman could ever have.
~ Dionna Sanchez