Discombobulated

There are days I feel relatively well assembled…

As though the different roles of my life are jiving well with the others, that the many hats I wear are actually staying on my head, and when they do drop, I am able to laugh it off and get back on the ball.    When things seem to be falling neatly into place.  And when they don’t, I seem to have a resilience that allows me to take the “no problem!”/”don’t sweat the small stuff approach”.  When I’m feeling encouraged {despite the circumstances not always being comfortable}, hopeful, strong and as in control of the few areas of my life I’m actually able to be in control over.  When the kids are playing well together, are responding well to us/love/guidance {and being pleasant…always refreshing}.  When hubby is enjoying work.  When we actually get to see each other…awake {he works nights}.  And when we’re growing individually, and together, in our walk with God…and by all standard measures: life feels pretty darn good.

I sort of feel like this little guy here:

Turtle puzzle and makeup 019

like this state of being!

And then there are days when I feel less put together.

Not broken, just…well, disjointed.

Discombobulated.

Easily disappointed and discouraged; fighting the desire to fall apart when my boat is rocked too much.  Unable to be strong for my man when he’s feeling discouraged and frustrated about stuff going on at work.  Less patient with my kids {and then usually, with myself and others too}.  Fragile.  Not hopeless, but definitely less hopeful.  Unsettled.  Discontent.  Waiting for the axe to fall {as in: “watch he doesn’t get a better shift like he was promised!”}.  Unable to see God’s hand or trust God’s heart in the midst of discouraging news.

You know… a little more like this sorry soul:

Turtle puzzle and makeup 020

So I’m more intentionally pressing into my source of strength and joy and comfort today, keenly aware of my complete inability to stand firm on my own, and for those who depend on me on a day-to-day basis.

I’m working on cultivating an attitude of gratitude amidst my somber ‘tude.  For it is, after all, a choice I get to make.

Discombobulated, yes.

Struggling, sometimes.

Grumbling about it, no longer.

As Abe Lincoln so succinctly put it:

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns,
or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses
.

Thank you for that nugget, Mr. President…I’m pulling myself up by my bootstraps and choosing to celebrate the blooms amidst the pokey things.

I’m awfully thankful I’m at the mercy of a creative genius who knows exactly how to put me back together again, and actually delights in the process.

And I’m uber grateful for His mercies being new every single day {Lamentations 3:22-23}…Lord knows I need fresh mercy…and that His joy will be up for grabs in the morning {Psalm 30:5}.

And just in case I’m able to put in my order ahead of time, I’d prefer to be more assembled tomorrow…thank you.

{this}                                                                              {not that}

Turtle puzzle and makeup 019 Turtle puzzle and makeup 020

over and out.

By Joy McMillan, Simply Bloom

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dionna
    Feb 23, 2011 @ 16:46:31

    I hear ya, sister!🙂

    Reply

  2. sediments
    Aug 29, 2011 @ 10:07:12

    it is not what i am looking for i am looking for what Jesus said not what it has got up there.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: