All I Have To Be

I go through cycles and phases in life where I feel really “uncool.” It might be that I feel left out of a “cool” group of friends, or I don’t understand why a really good blog post doesn’t get any comments when someone else’s page gets 20 comments a day. Why do they like her and not me – I think? So I try harder to be what I deem “likeable.”

It occurs to me today how I have lived most of my life wanting people to like me. I know most all of us do want others to like us. But I have that inner need that compels me and propels me. I can’t stand it when I feel like someone doesn’t like me. It makes me want to get them to like me and to prove to them (and maybe myself) that they were wrong about me. I am not unlikeable!

Words cannot express how my heart feels knowing that I tend to be like this. I am saddened that I have let myself be gripped by something so much. I am learning that it’s okay if people don’t like me. I may not like it, it may even sadden my heart – but I’m learning to deal and live with it. You know what? Not everyone liked Jesus when He walked the earth, and not everyone likes Him today. I know it saddens His heart, just as it saddens mine. But He can handle it.

As I learn how to have my own voice in life more and more; as I grow into my own skin and realize my purpose in life, my gifts and strengths, as well as my flaws – I’m going to have to learn how to deal with others who won’t agree with everything about me. I may love one part of my life to a passion, where someone else cannot relate to it at all. It does not mean I’m unlikeable.

There is an old song by Amy Grant called “All I Have To Be.” There is a part in the song that says,

“The more I try to be the best,
the more I get the worst
And I realize the good in me
Is only there because of who you are.

All I ever have to be
Is what you’ve made me
Any more or less
Would be a step out of your plan.”

This is my heart’s desire. I want to remember that all I have to be is who God made me to be. Nothing more and nothing less. What the world makes of who I am is their choice. As long as I’m living for my Lord I can carry the knowledge with me that not only am I likeable but I am loveable – so much so that God created me just to enjoy me.

I’m just trying to be real. This is who I am. God has no more expectations of me so I shouldn’t put any on myself. There may be days where someone doesn’t choose me to do something with him or her or I am forgotten by someone else. I may not have the most popular blog or move everyone with the words that I write – but it’s okay. I am learning it’s okay. It’s what I carry in my heart and live out in my life that truly matters.

This is all I need to be.
~ Dionna Sanchez

http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ali
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 17:09:49

    Thank you for having the courage to talk about this. I have been struggling with the need to be liked for as long as I can remember and although I think I’ve grown a lot over the years, it is still something that nags at me. As women, we are expected to be so many things to so many different people that there is no way to make everyone happy. Yet, being reminded that God only expects me to be the woman I already am, gives me peace and encouragement when I am feeling less than good enough- thank you!!

    Reply

  2. innerfulfillment
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 17:29:48

    Ali – I am so glad that you stopped by and that this post struck a chord in your heart. I think there are more women than we realize who feel this way!

    I pray that you will learn to like yourself a lot and that that, plus God’s love for you will fill all those holes that the world tries to place in your heart. ~ Dionna

    Reply

  3. Simone
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 03:58:02

    Hi Dionna,

    I also suffer with ‘fitting in’ or ‘wanting to be loved”, but just know that I enjoy reading your beautiful and encouraging blogs. When I see you name as the author, I know I am dealing with a special person. You have encouraged me with your personal thoughts when I sent you an email about being down about my extended family.

    Be encouraged Dionna, You are loved!

    Simone
    Australia

    Reply

  4. innerfulfillment
    Aug 20, 2010 @ 17:39:30

    Bless your heart, Simone. Thank you. It feels good to be loved!🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: