Finding My Smile

I was 9 months and 1 day pregnant with my first daughter feeling as if I would be pregnant forever! I had wanted to be pregnant so badly, but at that point in time, I desired so deeply to be able to tuck a shirt in or lay on my stomach again. Above all, it seemed like it would be forever before I would get to hold my beautiful child.

Each night, my husband, stepson and I would pray that this “little one” would come soon. But there came a point in time as my due date approached and left, that I decided I wasn’t being fair to God to ask for that; impatient as I was. As much as I was ready to have my baby at any moment, I thought, “Maybe there is a reason why God hasn’t allowed me to go into labor yet!” I thought about getting a mean nurse or the fact that maybe my parents wouldn’t be able to make the 4-hour journey up to be at the hospital in time. I realized that maybe God’s timing was better than my own. I remembered all the times that I had gotten what I asked for and it was all wrong. Sometimes God answers our prayers not because it’s HIS will, but because He’s simply granting our request. And it’s all wrong then, isn’t it?

I knew that my child would be beautiful (and she surpassed beautiful) and I knew that when all was said and done – the timing would be perfect in my eyes as I held my new miracle. Thinking these thoughts helped me find my smile again when I was so uncomfortable and so impatient. I knew that so many women would give anything to be where I was at – 9 months pregnant with a baby. So even though I was having a “feel sorry for me” moment, reminding myself that God knew every detail and His timing would be perfect; helped me find my smile again and remind myself to be thankful and blessed for the position I was in.

When the day came and my daughter did arrive into our world, God was right there beside me watching it all unfold. And you know what? I think He was smiling.

~ Dionna Sanchez (http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com)

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kimberley5949
    Mar 04, 2010 @ 06:47:06

    I know the long wait was agonizing and stressful but i do believe that the moment your daughter came out all the superfluous feeling vanished and the joy and happiness you felt was overwhelming. Congratulations to you and your family.

    Reply

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