Have you ever had one of those days when you just felt like a dork? Efforts made – came up short. Comments and actions – seemed to miss the mark. Basically, your self esteem just wasn’t feeling solid on that particular day!
Sometimes I assume that people will see and know my heart and soul. Oh, how I wish they could see into me at times! To know and understand my motives or intent. But, they don’t. And no matter how long I’m alive, I will probably always be astonished that people in my life will continue to misunderstand or second-guess me.
So, yes – today was one of those days for me. I felt like a dork. I just wasn’t able to quite “connect” with a few people, and my feelings got bruised up a bit. I shouldn’t be surprised, actually. I had a few other encouraging things happen this past week and I should have had my armor on and been ready for Satan to hit in retaliation. But, I wasn’t. And oh, how Satan loves to get us where it’s personal – doesn’t he?
How thankful I am, that I can come to God – just as I am. No pressure to perform to certain standards or expectations, no misunderstandings (for He can not only see my heart – He can read my mind!) – and nothing but open arms welcoming me into His presence – wanting to see me, be with me, and love me. How reassuring and thankful I am! Because this evening, I need those open arms. I need His love to remind me that I am not a dork. I need His strength to build me up again and show me that I’m doing okay and I’m on the right track – regardless of responses by others. He can encourage me to stay the course. Because Satan loves to make us feel sorry for ourselves and powerless – doesn’t He? We can’t be used to spread God’s love and cheer if we’re too busy being wrapped up in our own pity party. I know that, and I see that.
It was just a day. One day. And not all days are going to be beautiful, lovely, charming, and lovey. I know that. Tomorrow morning, the sun will rise and I can start fresh.
My soul is comforted by being able to take my feelings of “dorkiness” to the Lord. He is always there for me – ready, waiting, and welcoming.
For God said,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor. 12:9-10
Or – as in my translation –
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in (dorkiness). Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my (dorkiness) so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake – I delight in (dorkiness), in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am (feeling like a dork), then I am strong.”
I don’t have to be perfect. I just need to come as I am.
Read Dionna’s blog at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com