I’ve been feeling lonely lately. You see, several of my closest friends have left my life within the past year. And I’ve been praying for a long time for God to bring some new Godly women into my heart and life. We are such social beings – we need that close, intimate socialization and friendship. We need other women in our lives to hang out with, to talk with, and to rely on.
Don’t get me wrong – I still have friends. I have friends both here where I live – and those who don’t live near me. Yet my heart desires a few “best” friends nearby. Those who you can laugh and be girlie with – those who are there for you and your family when you need them – those who you just “click” with. They can see you at your best, and see you at your worst.
I have always been blessed to have very precious people in my life. I still have them. The thing is, that most of them aren’t able to be here “in the flesh” for me right now.
I have been praying about this for quite awhile. And I’m not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me. Deep friendships can’t be forced – they will take time and God will bring those dear friends into my life at His timing (which is always perfect) and in His way. Yet, I think that it needs to be okay for women to say “I’m lonely” without feeling like a reject. It’s not always a reflection on you – sometimes it’s just circumstances that have taken intimate friends out of your life. And it’s okay to desire best friends in your life. You don’t have to act needy or desperate to acknowledge that you need that in your life.
I know that God will teach me great things about relying on Him through this “dry spell.” HE will somehow use what goes through my heart, to write and help other women. But I sure do miss having women that I can count on. I miss having a girlfriend call me up or check in on me. I miss being able to laugh and be all “girlie” with someone else by going out on the town or just hanging out with one another’s families. I miss close girlfriends! Plain and simple.
I seem to have been a friend for the most part – that has been there for others when they’ve needed me. I love being that kind of friend – dont’ get me wrong. My heart has always wanted to be that kind of friend for others. But now – I just really desire an equal friendship with a few other women. Women who inspire me in the Lord and who I can inspire. Women who love their husbands and are trying their best to raise their children in the admonition of the Lord. Women who can come to my home and not have to be “entertained.” Women who don’t already have best friends so that they don’t have room (or time) for me or my family. Women who don’t mind how far away their house is across town from mine. Women who respect the differences in our personalities and character – so that neither one of us has to judge the other – but can enjoy one another. Women to cry with, laugh with, be sick with, and be embarrassed with.
They say it’s lonely at the top. And although I don’t really feel like I’m at the “top” of anywhere – I do feel that I’ve been used by God in a certain forum and manner. And for whatever reasons – He is walking me though this time in my life without a best friend – or two – or three!
I will wait on the Lord… and I will trust in Him and His plans. But I also want to be honest. And for today – I just want to aknowledge that I need some best friends in my life. It would sure be great if God chose to send them to me soon…..
~ Dionna Sanchez is the Founder of the Emphasis On Moms Ministry. Visit her blog weekly at http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com