Every year before my birthday I get hopeful as to what will transpire. Will I get a great, unexpected gift? Will there be a huge surprise awaiting me? I have hidden hopes of great anticipation hoping that others will go out of their way to make me feel special and celebrate me. Normally, my hopes are dashed. My birthday is usually just a normal day. Oh, my family gives me gifts and tries to make me feel loved – but my thoughts of big celebrations and grandeur are just that – thoughts.
On my 36th birthday, my day started off a bit rough. Construction next door woke me up early, I had no birthday greetings when I checked email (except from my husband) and I was just feeling “blue.” I started talking to the Lord about it, not wanting my birthday to be destroyed by my attitude as some previous ones had.
God convicted my heart about my need to be noticed, appreciated, and recognized. He showed me that I was relying on others to make me feel good. So I made a decision to get on my knees on the floor, and go face down before the Lord. I shed my brave face and teared up as I told Him my desires and my struggles. God gave me the best gift I could have received. He armed me with the gift of feeling victories over my self defeat.
God showed me that if I wanted to be celebrated so badly, why not celebrate myself? So I made the choice to celebrate me! I realized that this was MY time in life and that Satan was only using issues like this to defeat me.
God helped me see that it was not His will for my life to feel self defeated. Especially on a day like a birthday! And Satan can only make us feel unloveable, uncelebrated, etc if we allow him to. God showed me that I had that power over him.
Self Defeat is one of our biggest enemies. It hinders us from becoming all that we truly can be. It’s a great time-tested tactic that Satan loves to use on us and with us. Don’t let him. Go to the Lord on your face and share all your vulnerabilities with Him. Let Him speak to your heart and see through the lies – seeing how truly celebrated your existence truly is. Then, go out and celebrate your life. Trust me, it will feel really good. And you won’t even be celebrating alone…. Jesus will be there celebrating right beside you.
Dionna Sanchez is the Founder of Emphasis On Moms at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com