Moms are their own worst enemy, I think. We are graced with such a valuable role, we have such privilege to be so influential on those around us – and yet we are constantly trying to achieve a higher standard. Not that having a high standard is a bad thing, but it’s self-defeating if that high standard continues to go higher because reaching it is never good enough.
I think our problem stems from the fact that we compare ourselves. We think we have to have things a certain way, live a certain way, do things in a certain way. We fail to take into account our own personality, lifestyle, gifts, or circumstances.
For example –
Who says that you have to cook your family dinner every night? Maybe a couple nights a week would be good enough to work with your families’ activity schedule.
Who says that you have to do your devotions first thing in the morning? Maybe you are not a morning person and during naptime, or after the kids go to sleep at night would work much better for you.
Who says that your house has to look like it came out of a magazine? With kids who live there and hopefully feel comfortable enough as they grow up to want to stay home and invite their friends there as well…. Wouldn’t simply being “mostly picked up” suffice?
Who says that you have to volunteer for every activity your children are involved in? If you get overloaded and stressed from doing too much, can’t you simply go attend and support your children by your presence instead of being in charge of something that affects your state of being and happiness in your home?
Who says that you have to buy every item your child brings home from school to sell if you don’t need it or really don’t have the extra income? Isn’t buying one thing once in awhile and honestly telling them you need to watch where you spend your dollars – a more valuable lifetime lesson?
Who says get-togethers at your house have to be super fancy? Sometimes the presence of friends is enough and being comfortable around each other with nachos and dip.
Who says you have to look happy and pulled-together all of the time? Sometimes life stinks! It’s okay to acknowledge you’re going through a tough time but are doing the best you can.
I think we have this “image” of the perfect wife and mother ingrained in our heads. But reality doesn’t always measure up to that image. And so when it doesn’t, we practically break our backs trying to make it measure up to the way we think things should be.
I think we need to look outside the box a little more often and not be afraid to do things differently. They might fit our family and us a whole lot better than some ideal we have stuffed up in our heads.
So for today, let’s stop and pause every time we feel we are entering into the “I should” or “I have to” do things zone. If you don’t have time to make dinner because you held up a friend in need on the phone for over an hour – let it go. Your family won’t be deprived. You can all enjoy sandwiches together with laughter instead of falling in a heap exhausted over a fine meal.
We need to let go of our unreachable expectations and let life take us on the curves and detours that it chooses to. It will be good for us to have to “roll with it” sometimes and learn more about ourselves and where our priorities should lie. I bet we will discover that we really do stress about too many little things.
Enjoy this process of discovery and where it will lead you.
~ Dionna Sanchez (http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com)