All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children’s peace.
I was sitting on my front steps this morning watching Carson ride off on his bike, to catch the school bus. He was about halfway down the driveway, when he turned around and waved to me. At the end of the driveway, he waved again, and then as he headed off down the street, he called out, “Good bye Mom”, and waved again.
My heart nearly burst. He was so cute.
On Tuesday, I missed my weekly ladies group, because it was Meet The Teacher night at Chase’s school. I hate to miss study, but it was more important to me to be in Chase’s classroom that night. How could I expect him to be excited with school, if I had no interest in what he was learning? When I let Cindy know I was not going to be at study, and the reason why, her response was, “You’re such a good mom.”
I thought about how I wasn’t a good mom for so many years. I always loved the boys’ and I wanted to be a good mom, but my head seemed to be so messed up, I just didn’t seem to do the mom thing the right way.
Back in those days, Bobby was working all the time in the restaurant business and I was home alone with two little boys, Carson was 20 months old when Chase was born and it seemed like I just wished my days away, because it was such a struggle, taking care of the two of them, mostly by myself.
And Carson was a very perceptive little boy and there were many years that I felt isolated from him. I think he understood that something wasn’t right in me and he steered away from me and gravitated to his dad. They were always close and it was easy for him to be Daddy’s boy.
When Jesus came into my life and healed my hearts and my hurts, I started praying for him to show me how to be a good mother to the boys. I did studies by Denise Glenn on mothering and read all I could about being a Godly mother. And I prayed for wisdom … how to do this mother thing, God’s way.
I don’t feel like I have the market on mothering … we still have our moments. But by the Grace of God, life is very different at the Schneider home. This morning, when my little Carson gave me a big hug before he left, told me he loved me and then waved to me all the way down the street … well, all I could say was, “Thank you Jesus!”
Father, thank you for showing me how to love these two precious little boys that you have given to Bobby and I. And thank you for healing my heart … so that I could be the mother to them, that they deserve. Lord, you have given them to me, and I in turn give them back to you, keep them safe and protect them and help them to grow up to be wise Godly men who put you first in their lives!
I Love You Jesus.
In Your Name I Pray,
God Bless You!