Fully Engaged

Show me, O LORD, my life’s end  and the number of my days;  let me know how fleeting is my life.  You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Each man’s life is but a breath. Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.  But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:4-7

Do you remember when you were first learning to drive a standard transmission?  Okay, well some of you may not understand this analogy, but even a garden tractor will work here.   With a standard transmission, if you do not have the gear shift and the clutch fully engaged, you go no where.  The vehicle will just sit there.  Or worse, if you are on a hill, you will slide backwards.

This morning at church I was talking to one of my friend’s who has a 2 year old neice and she was being silly to us and my friend asked me if my boys acted like that when they were Sara’s age.  And I did not really know the answer to that question.  I told her that I did not remember a lot about the way the boys acted when they were little.  It is all sort of blurry to me.

I know I was there.  But I wasn’t fully engaged in their life.  That was a dark time for me. I had lost a baby before Carson was born, and I had another miscarriage when Chase was 2 that really threw me into the pit of depression and and coupled with all the junk of my past, I just wasn’t much together.  And then I finally got free of all that stuff, and I was finally starting to breathe again,  and I delivered a little still born baby and back into the pit I fell.

So the early years of the boys, well, I know I was there, but I was not living in the moment with them, enjoying each day.  I was always someplace else, in my mind.  I tried to connect with them, but I kept slipping back into my pain.

Our pastor preached a message today, 30 Days to Live:  Living In The Moment, and he talked about what we would do differently if we only had 30 days left to live – about being fully engaged – with life; in our home, our marriges, with our kids, our jobs, our church, and our finances.

There were a couple of key points that I wanted to share with you.

First of all, it is important for us to turn our ‘When’s‘ into ‘Now’s‘.  You’ve  heard the statements:

  •    When we get our finances together – then we can have kids.

  •    When things are less hectic around here – then we’ll start going to church.

  •    When the kids are out of the house, then I’ll spend more time with my spouse.

You know the scenario … your when may be different, but we all do it.  And it’s time to stop saying when … and just start doing.  When may never come. 

Secondly, we need to turn our intentions into actions, so we don’t live in the world of  ‘If only’ …

And the third point, it’s important for us to turn our whole hearts towards Jesus, not be half-hearted Christians; the just a little dose on Sunday morning variety.  He made a statement that I thought was really neat:  “Church people are unhappy, Jesus people are totally cool.”

Boy, isn’t that the truth!!  Jesus people are the ones that smile at you when you are walking into that doctor’s office, scared to death.  Or maybe they are total strangers who stop to help you when your car breaks down on the side of the road.  Or maybe they are the ones that give you a call when you are feeling totally abandoned by the world.  Or just sit and hold you when you are hurting so very badly.

I now spend my days, doing my best, to be fully engaged with life.  Oh, I slip a gear now and than, but when I do, I push it back into drive and off I go again.  I want my boys to know that when I’m with them, I’m with them!  I want Bobby to know that I think he’s the greatest husband and father in the world.  And I want Jesus to know that when HE’S with me (always), I’m with HIM!!

Father, thank you for helping me to learn how to become fully engaged in this life that you have given me.  I know I sat stalled for so long, but you never pushed me aside.  You patiently showed me the correct way to travel this journey … Your Way!  Thank you Jesus for healing my heart and my hurts and letting me livelife in the moment, as you meant it to be!


I Love You Jesus. 

     In Your Name I Pray,


God Bless You!



LIFE IS... Not About Perfect LIFE IS… Not About Perfect
A Daily Dose of Encouragement
by Joyce Schneider

For More Of My Story:


For nothing is impossible with God.
    Luke 1:37


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