FIRED UP!

Angry. So angry. Not at anyone in particular, or even at God. I was just furious at life and how it was turning out.

My childhood dreams didn’t include gut-wrenching endless pain. I never set out to be crippled. My bucket list never came close to this.

Few people seemed to grasp the severity of my illness. Everyone seemed so carefree and happy. While my peers shopped for adorable Easter outfits for their children, I was at home gasping for my next breath.

Offense came easily. Patronizing comments bothered me the most: “Do you have good days and bad days?” No, every second of every minute is hell. Or, even worse, the benign noncommittal, “I’ll pray for you.” Please don’t tell me that. I need your HELP. I need my house cleaned. I need dinner on the table. I need my laundry folded and put away. I need someone to play with my kids.

Like I said, I was angry.

My only escape was in the Lord. He knows me. The mess in my heart wasn’t a secret to Him.

Countless times I cried out for relief. Lord, I HATE this! Please help me. Give me one hour without pain. I’m begging you for mercy.

Other days, when I was able, I drank in Scripture:

“O my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.”

Jeremiah 8:18

Or,

“For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me.

I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin…

O Lord, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God.

Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.”

Psalm 38:17-22

And,

“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”

Psalm 40:1-2

His words were like an old friend, who spoke what I felt but couldn’t quite say. God continues to strip my heart of rage. Layer by layer, bit by bit, He pulls back hurt feelings, displaced dreams, and wounded pride. Occasionally a temper tantrum rears its ugly head, which the Lord patiently excises while reminding me I’m a work in progress.

Has anger got a grip on you, too?

    CRITICISM                  bitterness           FrUStrAtIOn              RAGE        disappointment

When anger takes center stage, life becomes miserable after awhile. If you’re like me, it’s exhausting carrying such a heavy load. I can only take so much.

Although I can’t offer a magic pill to make everything perfect,  I can point you to the One who is perfect:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Weary one, have you come to the Lord lately?

I’m not so angry anymore. Certainly, it’s not self-effort that got me here, just a day-by-day working of Christ.

He has given me rest.

Would you like rest for your soul, too?

Carrie Cooper @ comfortedbyGod.blogspot.com

GOODBYE, SUPERMOM!

“God, my life is a mess. How are you ever going to use me again? I don’t understand why you’ve allowed this to happen. Lord, please help me.”

I prayed those words countless times over the past four years. In 2006, I was diagnosed with a crippling autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis, which causes hardening of the hips, spine, and major organs. Within months of the first symptoms, my life was transformed.

I was Super Mom. Maybe you know what I’m talking about: wife, mother, Kindergarten Room Mom, entrepreneur, Registered Dietitian, Bible teacher, crafter, family gourmet cook, and last, but not least, manager for my daughter’s modeling career.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE SUPER MOM TOO?

I certainly tried, but God showed me I couldn’t do it. The illness crippled me. I spent three years as a prisoner in my own body, unable to move without excruciating pain.

My former Super Mom Super Powers were gone. I couldn’t stand up long enough to cook dinner, fold laundry, or sit on the floor to play with my children. All of those roles were delegated to someone else, while I took up residence on the living room sofa.

Those haunting prayers returned, “God, how are you ever going to use me like this? I’m more than broken—I’m shattered. You have stripped me of myself. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO BROKEN THAT YOU THINK GOD CAN’T POSSIBLY USE YOU?

I was there right where you are. It took time—years, in fact—for the Lord to humble me and then build me back up in Himself. By pouring myself into the Bible

I DISCOVERED MY IDENTITY WASN’T SUPER MOM, IT WAS IN CHRIST.

God doesn’t love me for everything I accomplish on a daily basis. He loves me because His Son died for me and on the third day came back to life, paying for my sins.

GOD LOVES YOU TOO, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DO FOR HIM.

Can we ever DO enough? Can we ever BE perfect enough?

Super Mom isn’t the answer. Jesus Christ is.

I HAD A CHOICE TO MAKE. I could either spend the rest of my life blaming God for ruining me with this horrible disease, or I can trust that even in the midst of the gut-wrenching pain, my life counts in Christ.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE, TOO.

If God has allowed you to be broken, maybe even shattered, you have a decision to make. Will you shake your fist at Him for destroying everything? Or, will you surrender to His plan, even though it’s NOT what you desire? Will you say Yes to His call on your life?

WILL YOU SURRENDER YOUR MESS TO HIM?

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him;

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:22-26

WILL YOU WAIT QUIETLY FOR THE LORD?

Carrie Cooper @ comfortedbyGod.blogspot.com

Where Is The Sting?

Where is our morality?

We cannot stand up and say that homosexuality is wrong lest we be deemed “judgmental.”

We don’t flinch when we watch television shows with chronic infidelity. It’s the “norm.”

Our children wear clothing that show their rear-ends when they bend over, or declare statements that say things such as “It’s all about me.”

We allow computer and Nintendo games in our homes that depict shooting other people and killing them.

We watch movies that have scenes of women showing their breasts (or most of them) – and we wonder why our husbands have a hard time remaining faithful to us!

These are just a few examples of the road our society has gone down. And it’s not “them” that I speak of – it’s “us.” We allow it and we partake of it. We aren’t critical of what we watch or listen to. It doesn’t sting our hearts the way it should because we have grown cold.

What happens when our hearts grow cold? What happens when people don’t stand up in justified anger over sin? Can God work? Is there any hope? Have we given up? If we’ve given up then things will only get worse and we will get more corrupted just as much as the rest of the world.

I, personally, want God with me and for me. I want to call on Him and know He will come to me. But I have to keep my heart soft. I have to be wise and discerning about what I allow into my home, my life, and my heart. I have to be willing to correct areas in my life where I’ve grown cold or immune to God’s Word pricking my heart. I can’t “pretend” to be upset over something and then go and be a part of it. I can’t stand by and let myself succumb to peer pressure or thoughts and images that others say are socially correct. For only God’s Word is correct and He is my ultimate judge.

Let us fall on our knees and ask God to have mercy on us. Let us call out to Him and ask Him to permeate our hearts and lives and move us to action on behalf of our love for Him, our families, and this life that He has given us. Let’s not sit idly by and let others believe the “lie” that all these temporary thoughts and ideals will bring long-lasting happiness – for they will only cause misery.

We need to put ourselves in a position where we are stung by what is happening around us. It needs to hurt us – what we see – what we hear. It needs to move us to stand up for what is right, to pray, and to speak out.

We need to be either hot or cold. We need to decide which side of the fence we are on. Are we on fire for the Lord? He said He would spit those who are lukewarm out of his mouth. I don’t want that to be me. Nor do I want to grow cold and be immune to the hurting, the weak, or the lost. I want my heart to sting. I want it to sting for what is lost and what needs to be right.

Do you?

Dionna Sanchez is a freelance writer and blogs at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com