Overcoming a Fractured Past

They say where you come from impacts who you are as a person every day.  So, as a parent, what if you came from a home where you didn’t have the best of parents?  You may not have had the best examples yourself, of what and how to be a loving parent. 
 
It can be far too easy to remember the bad and negative stuff than it can be to remember the good. As much as a challenge that is, it’s important that you don’t sift out that good part of your life growing up just because the bad may be so overwhelming.
 
No person is perfect. No parent is perfect. Your parents probably made loads of mistakes while raising you. Some may have even delegated the raising of you to someone else and that could have really hurt you, or it could have been the best blessing in your life possible.  Whatever your situation, don’t allow Satan to define your heritage for you. Don’t let him define you!  Your parents’ weaknesses and strongholds don’t have to be yours.  Strive to embrace whatever good you can remember about your childhood and let those thoughts, memories, and feelings reside in your heart.  You can’t erase your past altogether. If you try, you will only be denying yourself an important piece of who you are. You can heal your heart for your families’ health and sake and then set about defining who you want to be as a person and as a parent.
 
Your children may ask you about your past. Children are naturally curious and they want to know everything there is to know about family and where they come from.  You will have to decide ahead of time, how you want to tackle these questions. Simply waving them aside won’t squelch them… for they will come again.  If you take the time to deal with your past with the Lord ahead of time, maybe you can be prepared to be honest about the ugly stuff while still finding something good and positive to share about your history.  You can be such a great example of finding something good in the bad – and you can change the color and perspective that your children have of their heritage.
 
Today is the day you can make a change and a difference.  God tells us that if we follow Him and are faithful and obedient children, that He can bless a whole generation following us! What a beautiful goal.
 
You are who you are – whether or not you wish your growing-up-years could have been different. And God can take those hurtful and painful feelings and memories, and turn them around inside of you. He can use them and use you in a way that only God can do. If you try to erase everything, you may be shutting out powerful ministry opportunities that God may have in mind for your life.
 
No one ever said that parents have to know it all. We are all still learning as we go. So as you learn how to take the good from your past, filter out the bad, and incorporate a positive heritage and environment for your family – know that God is right there with you – cheering you on every step of the way.

~ You can view words from Dionna’s heart each week at her blog – http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

Is Your Child Missing Out?

I came to the conclusion recently that I didn’t have to rely on my children’s school to teach them everything.
 
Of course I would like their school to stretch them and work with their strengths while helping them strengthen their weaknesses. But I’ve found that the classroom doesn’t seem to touch on everything that I want touched on.  Even if I discuss something with a teacher at parent-teacher conferences, not all teachers have the time or are equipped to focus on certain areas; no matter how greatly I want it.

I am my child’s advocate. The first thing I think I need to do IS to go to the school. But I don’t have to stop there.
 
I found out recently that my oldest daughter was no longer getting spelling tests in 6th grade. In 6th grade!! I was astonished. I had noticed some spelling errors on some of her papers and thought to myself how much this is still needed in her classroom. But instead of getting discouraged, today, I whipped out the dictionary and gave her my own spelling test. I had her write the words she missed 5 times. I plan to do this every so often. Just because the school no longer focuses on her spelling doesn’t mean I don’t have to!
 
You can do this with any subject. My youngest has been whining that they never do art anymore. So I’m thinking I should come up with an art project for her in the near future. It’s something she loves and something I want to encourage her in.  Last year she was bored in math because her level exceeded that of where her class was. It had been talked about, that she could go in an extra math learning program but that never happened. Looking back, we could have done extra math with her at home to help her continue her learning.
 
As a Christian parent with my children in a public school – I can also teach them Bible lessons at home. Just because they don’t have a “set” Bible class doesn’t mean I can’t incorporate one!
 
We are our children’s advocates. We are here to speak up for them, to motivate them, and to help them flourish. Part of that is their learning.  It doesn’t have to be a grueling system. You don’t have to make your child do 3 more hours of science or history every night in addition to their school experience. But you CAN embellish what they are getting at school by incorporating a little extra learning at home. You CAN stand up and say, “My child WILL learn this subject even if their school doesn’t think it’s important enough to spend more time on it!” Or, if your child struggles in a subject, spend a little extra time on it with them at home.
 
You can make learning fun. There are so many sites on the Internet where children can learn keyboarding, do math games, etc. And you can take them to places in your community or family vacations to places like Mt. Rushmore to teach them about history.
 
Don’t rely on the “system” to do all that it should for your child. Hopefully it will – but if it doesn’t – stand in the gap and do it yourself. It’s in your child’s best interest.
 
 
~ Dionna Sanchez parents her children from her home in Idaho. She is the Founder of the Emphasis On Moms Ministry and maintains a blog for women at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com