Have you ever noticed that when you are going through something in your life that is really tough, that you tend to push others away? Do you know why that is?

Think about it for a minute. We are social and relational creatures. God created us to rely on each other to get through life. He says in Hebrews 10:24-25 that we are to spur each other on, to meet together and to encourage one another.  Yet whenever we feel like we’ve messed up in life, or are going through a particularly tough time, why is it that we isolate ourselves from the very people we need to lean on?

Satan loves isolation.  If he can isolate us from friends and family who would be able to help us not feel defeated – then he wins!  He loves to deceive us into thinking that we would be a burden on others or that they wouldn’t understand how we are feeling or what we’ve been through. But it’s a lie.  In all reality, not only would those who love us try to understand, they would be able to encourage us, pray for us, and give us the strength we need to overcome our situation.

I know that it is really good to be by myself sometimes. It recharges me to have some quiet time to myself. It’s good for me to learn how to enjoy my own company and how to schedule my day on MY terms.  Yet I think we need to be careful that an occasional recharging session doesn’t turn into an escape from reality.  We can get to the point that we don’t know how to handle others anymore and then start to think that everyone is out to get us or that no one understands us.  Satan is so good at doing that to us.

We need each other. As much as you may try to deny that fact or ignore it – we need each other. Yes, you may have your husband or your child.  But they are not enough. We need a variety of Godly people in our lives that can help us on this road of life. People who can lovingly be honest to us and help us overcome challenges or issues. (You may think you don’t want to hear honesty but you really do – for how else can you grow and become that person you really desire to be?) 

When we remain isolated, several things happen to us. 

*We are vulnerable to attack by Satan because we don’t have a support system to help us

*We remain in sin and/or poor behavior patterns

*We become “posers.” Showing or acting like all is well in our life because we lose people whom we can really trust to be authentic with or we feel no one will understand.

*We lose touch with real life, real feelings, and real people.

It’s uncomfortable sometimes to start relying on others when you are afraid they will crush your feelings. But I encourage you to take a chance. Pray about it and let God lead you out from your isolated world and into a world of open arms waiting to love you along in life.

Isolation is not good for anyone. It is only Satan’s way of hindering you, deceiving you, and leaving you unhealthy. It’s his way of keeping your thoughts, feelings, issues, and struggles a “secret” when God only wants them out in the open and into the light. 

Don’t reason with yourself about this dangerous stronghold. But make a vow today to run away from your isolated way of living.  Even if you are housebound, there is a way to get the friendship and support system you need. Pray about it and God will answer. Seek and you shall find – never to be off on your own again.

God says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Do you trust Him? Then make a change today.

 
~ Dionna Sanchez desires close Godly women friendships in her life. She shares with other women from her heart through her blog at http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com

As I was reviewing this week’s scripture readings I came across quite a juxtaposition between the reading from the second letter to the Corinthians on Sunday (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) in which St. Paul speaks of a “thorn in the flesh” and the Gospel of Matthew on Monday (Matthew 9:18-26) in which a woman who has suffered from a hemorrhage for twelve years reaches out to Jesus for healing.

In the first instance, St. Paul refers to an on-going trial in his life. He has begged the Lord “three times . . . that it might leave [him], but he has answered . . .‘My grace is enough for you.’” Basically, St. Paul has asked the Lord for help and the Lord has said, “No, this is something that you need to deal with. The suffering has a purpose. I am with you, but you need to endure and continue to be faithful.

In the second instance, the woman has suffered for twelve years. Not only has she suffered physically, but spiritually as well, for in the Jewish tradition she was ritually unclean. Yet, she summons every ounce of her courage and reaches out to Jesus, believing that if she just touches his cloak that she will be healed. What faith she demonstrates! And she is rewarded for that faith. “Jesus turned round and saw her; and he said to her, ‘Courage, my daughter, your faith has saved you.’”

Both St. Paul and the woman have faith. Both have problems that are causing them great pain and suffering. Yet, one is healed and one is told to keep on bearing the burden. What is the lesson for us in these two scripture readings? The first lesson is that we need to ask the Lord for help. What are the thorns in our own lives? We all have some – the nagging problems that won’t seem to go away no matter what we do. These problems may be physical difficulties, mental or emotional struggles, or a struggle with temptation and sin. These problems may even be issues we have with another person in our lives. Whatever the particular thorn might be, we need to bring it to the Lord in prayer. We need to humble ourselves and, emulating the woman’s courage and faith, believe that God will heal us.

But, what if He doesn’t? What if like St. Paul, He looks at our pain and difficulties, and tells us, “I’m sorry. My grace is with you, but this suffering is something that you need to go through. There is a lesson here for you, and you need to learn it.” What do we do then? I believe that the answer is that we keep praying. We can accept the answer and accept the suffering while continuing to bring it to God in prayer, asking for help and healing. I found it interesting that St. Paul had asked the Lord for help three times. I understand that St. Paul had a much closer communication channel with the Lord than I do, but I have found in my life that there are times when I have had to pray to God for years to finally get peace and resolution to an issue. Yes, God had a lesson for me to learn, and in hindsight, I can appreciate the need for the suffering. I believe that the continued prayer helped me have the grace to endure the suffering, helped me learn the lesson that I needed to learn, and helped the resolution finally occur, often in better ways than I could ever imagine. God knows what is best for us. We simply need to have courage and always ask for help.

- Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur
http://spiritualwomanthoughts.blogspot.com

Are you concerned about your teen?  Do you worry about the choices they make in friendships? Do you feel like they are slipping away?  I can’t encourage you enough to get your child into a church youth group and setting, if they aren’t already.

I have personally seen what a strong, vibrant youth group has done for my stepson’s life. I feel so indebted to it for reinforcing what we were trying to teach him at home. They pulled him in with fun activities and caring individuals who embraced who he was and what he was interested in. Then, they started talking to him and the other kids about subjects that were relevant to their lives – sex, peer pressure, mainstream music, public school issues, standing up for Christ, etc.  He met others his age who were going through the same things as him and they were able to support one another while growing in the Lord.

Youth groups meet kids where they are at and they give them a foundation to grow on. They are a “backup plan” so to speak, for parents. They give our teens a support system; which let’s face it – they really need!  They need peers their own age who they can turn to in their schools to encourage them and understand the daily world they are a part of.

If your church has a youth group but your child doesn’t seem interested in it or it seems like it’s floundering, I encourage you to seek out a stronger one. I understand that you may like your church, but your child’s faith is important enough to make some changes in your life, don’t you think? You can either decide to switch churches for a while to give your child a stronger foundation, or you can make the agreement to let your child attend a youth group somewhere else.  If you don’t attend a church at all, I can’t urge you enough to get involved in one with an active, growing youth department. Youth are our future and any church that understands and realizes that will invest into them instead of ignoring them.

Our job as parents is tougher because of the direction our society has taken. We need all the support we can get to help us raise young men and women who will take a stand for the Lord.  Youth groups are one of the best tools to help us do that. You just need to make the choice and decision that your children are worth it.

~ Dionna Sanchez is Founder of the Emphasis On Moms Ministry at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com – you can also find her blogging over at PreciousMoms.com.

It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life:
Devotional Readings for Women Who Strive Too Hard to Make It Just Right
By Joan C. Webb
Ventura, CA: Regal, 2009

If I had the money, I would buy a copy of “It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life: Devotional Readings for Women Who Strive Too Hard to Make It Just Right” by Joan C. Webb for every woman that I know. We all try so hard to do it all and get so down on ourselves when we discover that simply isn’t possible. Webb offers reassuring words based on scripture and rooted in her own experience to tell us that it is all OK. It is alright to let go of some of the pressure that we put on ourselves.

The 163 one-page devotions are divided into sections focusing on relationships, emotions, bodies, life-work, service, churches, culture, dreams and spirituality. If one particular area is troubling you, you can focus on just that section, or you can read it cover to cover as I did. Each page has something worthwhile to offer. For example, Devotion #1, “Smiling Here,” Webb invites us to recall a time we made a blunder and to laugh about it! As she reminds us, “I goofed. No big deal! It doesn’t make me less valuable.” In Devotion #30, “You Mad at Me?” Webb challenges us to stop taking on other’s moods. Women tend to feel that we are the reason someone else is upset or to feel that we must cure it. “The next time a loved one is in a bad mood and you feel the urge to ‘take it on,’ step back emotionally and ask God for wisdom.” Devotion #151, “Management Contract with God,” reminds us to turn over control of our lives to God. “Working for our ultimate good, He counsels us how to heal past damage, overcome self-defeating habits and experience contentment as we trust him for the future.”

“It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life” has much to offer for any Christian woman trying to do it all. I think it would take a lifetime to learn all these lessons, and even Webb admits she is still working on them, but the ability to pick up this book, take a deep breath, and stop and reflect and let go for a little bit is a great gift!

Reviewed by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur
http://spiritualwomanthoughts.blogspot.com

It is no secret that most Americans do not get enough sleep. We know that sleep is vital to our health, mood, and general ability to function, yet when life gets stressful, sleep is often the first thing to go. Sometimes this is for reasons beyond our control. Most people who have had a baby have had to cope with going through life in a sleep-deprived haze at least for a while. There are times when hormones make sleep a near impossibility, or when the huge amount of things weighing on one’s mind forces one to toss and turn despite one’s best efforts. There are many times, however, when there is no reason for us not getting enough sleep other than we simply choose not to.

We make other things more of a priority. I have heard very busy women say, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” I can sympathize. There does always seem to be more to get done in a given day than hours in that day! As Joan C. Webb writes in “It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life” our inner voice tells us “If I go to sleep, I’ll be wasting time. I should make good use of each minute. . . Your value depends on how well you spend each second. Stay busy. Don’t waste any precious moments. Keep an account of every hour.” I’m sure many of you reading this are nodding in agreement. Especially for mothers who spend so much of their time caring for others, it can seem like those late-night or early-morning hours are the only opportunity to get the other tasks done or to get some much-needed time to care for oneself.

The irony is that getting enough sleep each night will allow us to take care of both ourselves and those we love better. If we can’t get enough sleep at night, it means that something is out of whack in our lives. We need to reduce how much we have on our plates or we need to get a little bit better at asking for help. Maybe we need to simply reduce our expectations of what it means to be a productive person. Webb offers a new mantra to replace the inner voice that keeps driving us to do more: “I’m valuable even when I’m not busy. I can go to sleep at a sensible hour and still be a productive person.” She refers to a quote by from “The Rest of God” by Mark Buchanon, “We give ourselves, regardless of our unfinished business, into God’s care. We sleep simply because we believe God will look after us.” That is so comforting. Yes, God does look after us even when we are sleeping. God wants us to rest in Him and to trust that whatever we do get accomplished in the hours we are awake is enough and is pleasing to Him.

If you are one of the many suffering from a lack of sleep, try going to bed just 15 minutes earlier each night. It is a small step, but it can make a huge difference. Once that becomes comfortable, add another 15 minutes. These simple adjustments can help improve one’s outlook tremendously and help one be more productive with the time one does have during the day.

- Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur
http://spiritualwomanthoughts.blogspot.com

Life is hard. If you are alive, you know full well that life is hard. It brings heartache, hurts, disappointments, and challenges.

So often we tend to look and hope for blessings. We desire people to be blessings to us in our lives. Someone to come up alongside of us and encourage us – bringing joy into our hearts.

It’s not bad to want that in your life. We all need that.  But I just have to wonder if you are walking the walk yourself? Are you a blessing to others?  When you speak to others, do you speak life, love, and joy to them? Are you selective in who you encourage?

God says in the Bible, “Blessed are those who are peacemakers.” To me, that means we should use our mouths to help and heal. If we have the opportunity to bring renewal to someone’s heart, we should do it. If we can help a relationship or perspective mend, we should do that. It is a joy and a privilege to impact someone so powerfully. It is also our heritage as a Christian child of God. You can change someone’s life by your words.

I watch a lot of brothers and sisters in the Lord become a source of blessing to some people, and yet alienate or ignore others. What kind of example are we being? We can’t just pick and choose those we want to bless. It doesn’t work that way.  God loves all of us – not just those of us who are easily loveable.  If I chose only to bless my children and they watched me use my mouth and my heart to criticize others (maybe a teacher, someone in my church, or an extended family member), what am I teaching them? Am I showing them how to forgive? Do I model the example of grace and mercy for them? No, I don’t think so.

We wait for others to do what we ourselves should be doing. We should be living a life of blessing to others. I believe if we are, then that blessing will come back to us! I also believe that living a life of being a blessing to others is a very fulfilling life. It feels so good and so right inside to know that God is using you to connect with someone.

We are representatives of Jesus Christ. It’s about time we start acting like one. Allow God to work through you to help remove someone else’s burdens or to bring a little sunshine into their life. Look for those who are overlooked. Maybe they don’t have a huge problem or obstacle in their life. Maybe they are simply a giver themselves and no one seems to notice that they too, need some blessings and encouragement bestowed on them in their life to motivate them to continue on.

It’s up to us to strengthen one another on this walk of life. Don’t sit back and wait for that strength to come – because someone may be waiting for you.

~ By Dionna Sanchez

Visit Dionna’s blog today at http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com

Jonesing: to have a strong need, desire, or craving for something.

Back in the day, I have used the term to describe my desire for a cigarette, or maybe a beer … but I haven’t found myself using that expression in a very long time.

But last night, I did.

I was jonesing for Jesus … His Word tells us, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

I was talking with a couple of friends after our Wednesday night worship time. One of the girls mentioned she’d felt God revealing some things, we decided to pray a bit, and the next thing I knew, the three of us were sitting in the sanctuary talking to Jesus. And His presence was so thick in that place; it seemed like we could almost reach out and touch him. It was special!

When we finally pulled ourselves away and headed to our cars, my comment was, “Man, I needed that … I’ve been jonesing for Jesus.”

And I had … not even realizing my deep craving for him … but He knew. And because I sought Him with my whole heart … I found Him.

Thank you Jesus for giving me such a sweet dose of you. I do have a strong need for you … and I don’t ever want that to go away. I need you …

I love you Jesus!
In your name I pray,
Amen

God Bless You!
Joyce

The Choices You Make Today …
Will Affect Your Tomorrows!
http://www.alifedecision.org

I became a mom when I was 23 years old. I had just gotten married and my husband had custody of his 5-year-old son – which made me an immediate full-time mom.  It was a challenge, but one that I tried to embrace with everything that was in me.

As time went on, I tried to run from the title of being a “step mom.” I didn’t like all the negative connotations that went with that word. I was just fine with people thinking I was my stepson’s real mom! But you know what? In hindsight, I now see that God called me to step in to my “son’s” life and become his stepparent. It’s not something I should be ashamed of, or something I should run from. It was God’s desire and choice for my life. It has also been God’s choice for my life to have two other daughters’.

However you had your children, whether you became pregnant by accident, whether you adopted, are a stepparent, whether you have a large family or a small … it is God’s calling for you to be a mom to those children. Have you ever looked at your role as a mom in that way? Have you ever realized that being a mom is a calling? It is a privilege!

As soon as you have those babies, or those children arrive into your home, you are called by God to mother them and to give your absolute best.  With every calling comes responsibility and parenting is no different.  We need to remember that we are responsible for forming and molding someone else’s life.  We need to be intentional and responsible for how we raise our children.  That means we need to filter what they watch, who they hang out with, how we allow them to act, and what kinds of influences come into their lives.

I think some mothers “get” the calling of motherhood right from the beginning. Still others either forget it or don’t realize that God has issued a calling on their life. And having a call to be a mother doesn’t mean that God won’t also call you to do other things. He can! It simply means that He has chosen to use you in one of the most important roles in life – influencing and raising another human being.

Don’t ever minimize your role as a mom. Don’t forget how important it is that you are impacting our world and society by how you are raising your children. You matter so much – and the Lord has called you whether you feel worthy of that calling or not. It’s time to step up to the plate and give your all; not just for Him – but for your children.

~ Dionna Sanchez is honored that God chose her to be a step mom and mother. She continues to learn daily from those roles. You can visit her ministry at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com

Step into the pages of Akeldama, my historical novel of Faith.  Meet beautiful Yo-hannah, whose tortured past has imprisoned her body and heart.  Walk in the stooped steps of Veronica, whose mysterious malady has made her ceremonially unclean.  Thirst for living water with a half-breed whose checkered past is about to catch up with her.

Thrown together from different dead-ends, each woman seeks answers to her own desperation.  Will Yo-hannah find the peace she craves?  Can an unclean woman receive a touch of mercy?  Where can a despised half-breed go to be made whole?  And what about old Hadessa, whose enigmatic past is as mysterious as the young rabbi from Nazareth who crosses each woman’s path?

Each woman’s life and future hinges on the Nazarene’s answer to  one question: who are you?

Click here to order

“I have read only a few Christian novels worthy of the name.  My favorite Christian authors are C.S. Lewis, Stephen R. Lawhead, Joseph F. Girzone, and now Kristine Lowder.  I must tell you that her book, Akeldama, touched me so deeply that I cried like a baby as I read the final chapter.  Yes, the final chapter is about the resurrection of Jesus Christ – not a new subject.  But something in her telling of it blessed me with joy, gratitude, awe, and wonder.  I cannot remember a time when I wanted to re-read a book as soon as I finished it.  Treat yourself to a great book!

- William C. Oakes, Senior Pastor,

Living Stones Fellowship, Warrens, Wisconsin

Click here to order

Mothers pour everything they are into their family and their children’s lives. There comes a point in time though, when the children grow up.  They leave home for college or they get married and have a family of their own. Whether or not your children live near you, it can be hard to let go. It can be hard to not continue to want to have a “say” in their lives.

In the Bible God says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

When our children leave home to start families of their own, they are no longer under our charge. (As hard as it is to acknowledge!) Our role changes. Of course we will always be mothers, but we need to tell ourselves that we need to step back more than we step in at this point. You see, there will be an empty spot in our lives. We no longer need to make sure our child is going to the doctor annually, or that they are paying their bills. We no longer should keep track of what they do with their time everyday or how often they call us. Our whole lives have been focused on preparing them to be an adult. So when the time comes – we need to truly let them be one!

It can be hard to not try to pull closer to your child when they love learning how to pull away. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you or value you. It simply means you have done your job well and it is their chance to be an independent individual – one that they have every right to be!  So what do you do? You continue to love, advise (when asked), and be there for your children – but on a respectful-of-their-territory-and lives stance. You let them be all that they want to be.  Once your children are grown and you have left them a legacy, it is your chance to turn to something new. You see, once they are grown into wise, healthy, God-fearing adults, it is time for you to let them live that out. You can now pour who you are into someone else who needs you. Again – not withdrawing who you are from your children’s lives, but just giving of who you are a little bit more to someone else who may need you.

I see so many parents who do not know how to take a step back once their children are grown, and simply let them live their lives out. They continue to try to “mother” their adult children. All this does is suffocate and restrain, instead of liberating and freeing the children. If you don’t trust what’s in your child’s heart and their feelings for you as an adult, you have some issues that you need to deal with the Lord on. If you do, you need to learn that your place in their life (although valued and treasured) has changed. You become more of a mentor and a confidante, instead of an everyday needed “mommy.” Does that make sense?  Don’t whittle your relationship away to obligatory gestures on your child’s part because they are afraid to step on your toes or hurt your feelings. Go out and live your life! Find someone new to “mother!” There are so many people out there who have no one. People who need to feel love and have someone pour everything they are into their lives. God did not leave us here to try and nurture those who are already healthy and nurtured. He left us here to reach out to the lonely, the sick, and the hurting. What are we doing for them? Our children would be the first ones to share in our joy of taking the new phase of our life to pour out to others and help them. Whether it’s by volunteering at a local school or hospital, teaching Sunday School, mentoring other young moms who are struggling, etc – find something to help you fill the void that might be left in your home and heart instead of trying to continue to fill it in your adult children who are seeking to find some space to do the same in their own lives and to their own children.

You can do it. You can see that instead of holding on to the role you’ve always known, that your new and changing role as a mother – the role that is a little less needed and a little less sought out – is still one that is fulfilling because you did your job well, and now God has made room in your life to do a new work through you.  Won’t you let Him?

~ Dionna Sanchez is navigating her new role as a step mom – as her stepson has left home, gotten married, and gone away to college. She hopes to continue to be a valued mom in her new changed role. You can always read more of her heart and words at http://www.emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com