Camped out at the local library the other day, I came across a book with this title: “How to be successful 99% of the time.”  I wondered about the other one percent.  Then I wondered further. What does “successful” mean, anyway?  Guess that’s mostly a matter of perspective.

A quick scan of the library’s on-line catalog using the keyword “success” and synonyms such as promotion, motivate, achieving excellence, secrets of, champion, and my personal favorite, choosing your own greatness had me snickering such that the librarians kept “shushing” me.

I couldn’t help thinking, Excuse me?  Just how does one go about “choosing” greatness?  Hey, I’d like a side order of Greatness with that burger? Or how about sashaying into the local Wal-Mart, thumping up to the counter with, “Gimme a coupla those, two or three of these, and some Greatness with purple stripes and pink polka dots”?  And would you like that gift-wrapped?

“Why not?” you shrug.  “So long as I’m shopping for Greatness, might as well go whole hog, right?  Say, do any of these Greatness dandies come in chocolate?”

So I’m skimming along, reading about self control, staying focused and “how to get the most out of life, how to succeed at work and in life, live with passion” and “strive to be the best.”  (I feel a nap coming on.)  A practical guide to “creative empowerment.”  As opposed to what, stick in the mud stupidity?  Bone-jarringly boring disempowerment?  Oh wait.  There’s more.

“Manifest your destiny.”  Ouch.  This sounds like a history lesson gone mutant.  “No limit living.”  This is a book filled with sage advice like “Allow yourself to be a child again.”  Again?  What about still?

I’m sure that some of these books are helpful and the authors seem sincere.  Some of them even have lots of letters after their names.  Many of these tomes are laced with words like “happy, positive,” as in, “a positive attitude makes you healthier, and more resourceful.  This will show you how to protect yourself from negative thoughts, people, and how to foster a positive mental attitude.”

Why do I want to slap whoever wrote that?

Other oft-repeated mantas are “breakthrough strategies” or “how to be a perfect person in just three days.”

Personally, I think “perfect’ is highly over-rated, and that “success” may be in the eyes of the beholder.

I consider any day I’m able to keep up with laundry, the dishes and groceries a “success.”  Any day the kids squabble just half the time – instead of twenty-four/seven – is a “success.”  At-home family movie nights are a “success.”  Ditto picnics, fishing trips, camping, good health and the ability to read, write, and walk the dog.  Enjoy a sunset.  Smiling kids, blue skies, family time, a husband who actually listens to my disjointed musings and good friends are “success.”

So here’s the deal.  I read a book on How to Be a Success once.  It made me dizzy.  These days, when I wake up with the great urge to Be a Success, I check into another book.  I turn to the eighteenth chapter of the Gospel according to Luke.

Chapter eighteen is a potpourri of emotion and action: sternness, tenderness, rebukes, welcomes, laughter, and impending sorrow.  All this in just forty-three verses.  This is a busy chapter.  Indeed, Luke eighteen is an amazing feat of literary narration and academic architecture (perhaps) second only to the Pyramid of Giza.  Now, look at verse fifteen of this extraordinary chapter: People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them.

Do we know what this says, what it means?  Who brings a baby to an old sourpuss or a stuffed shirt?  Who wants a watery wet blanket to hold their little one?  Who carts their kid to a cranky curmudgeon?  Mothers don’t entrust their babies to just anyone.  If they were bringing their babies “to Jesus to have him touch them,” what does this say about Jesus?

Does the Jesus pictured in Luke sharpen our wits, poke and probe our innermost parts, convict to the roots of our hair and shake us to our very core?  Yep.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that Jesus also told the funniest jokes I could ever hear and that the same man who rebuked his disciples for trying to prevent the children from coming to him probably had a twinkle in his eye much of the time.

How can anyone or anything be more “successful” than that?

By Kristine, author, blogger, humorist, and chief wrangler at “the ‘ole testosterone farm.”

Excerpted from how i got to be fifty and other atrocities: a baby boomer reflects on the boom and other splashes of everyday life. Coming soon from Living Stones Publishing.

Most of us tend to look at life based on what we’ve felt and experienced ourselves. It’s natural. We have our own little window that we look through. But that window only sees one view if we don’t get outside of our own little world sometimes.
 
My eyes have been opened more within the last 5 years partially, because I’ve been able to get outside of my own world and the way I live it to see and experience how others live and experience their lives a little bit. It’s made me more aware of how and why people are the way they are.
 
I think we can get “tunnel vision” if we don’t put ourselves into other people’s shoes on occasion. We can also lose touch with human nature – expecting everyone to see things and interpret them the way that we do. It’s not fair to them or ourselves. Someone who lives in a big city is not going to see or experience life the same way that someone in the country does. And someone who lives in a new, clean area will not understand how someone who lives in an area where they feel unsafe will feel about life.  Or an American will view life differently than someone who lives in Africa, China, or Argentina.
 
We know all this in our heads but I think on a day to day basis; we forget. We assume that everyone goes about life just like us. That they have the same opportunies or lack thereof that we do. And if we don’t feel this way, then maybe we unfairly assume things about people who live differently than we do. Maybe we assume that all rich people are uncaring and don’t help others. Or that all people who live in the slums are dishonest and corrupt.

I think that no matter what our financial situation is, it’s more important than ever in our growing world that we get out and see things. If we can get a better perspective of the big world we live in, it will feel smaller as we gain insight and empathy into the lives of others. It’s important because as people travel more and more, we don’t just live with those who grew up the way we do. We run into people from all nationalities, walks of life, and denominations.
 
If you can’t fly to other countries, you can still drive. And if you can’t drive, I’m betting you can still read or watch television and the Internet. Resources are so vast today. But nothing compares to being somewhere else and seeing with your own eyes what life is like there. Hearing the sounds and smelling the smells. Every city has a different personality and feel to it.  Learn about it and the people who live there. Let it permeate your skin and grow to understand more about human nature.
 
Your viewpoint and the way you observe people handling and dealing with life – will grow and change. It will deepen and your understanding will grow as you learn the why’s and how come’s. That kind of knowledge can only benefit everyone as we learn to understand … and maybe love each other a little bit better.

Add some of Dionna’s pro-family buttons/graphics to your blog! Visit http://www.emphasisonmoms.com/graphics.htm

I never told a soul.  Far as I know, no one knows.  Till now.

Back in my college days – some three decades ago – I decided to cut classes one morning and head for the beach instead of the books.  It was one of those bright, balmy, eighty-degrees days for which San Diego is famous.  Sapphire-blue, sun-soaked.  Postcard-perfect.  Especially for playing hooky.

I didn’t plan on bailing out of Western Civilization and Physical Anthropology 101.  But I found myself chugging down the I-8 in the exact opposite direction of Mr. Asmov’s lecture hall.  To put this in context, it was one of two days I “played hooky” in my entire scholastic career.  I’m more of the “nose-to-the-grindstone” type.  Steady.  Responsible.  Reliable.  As impetuous and impulsive as a gimpy snail in a molasses factory.

So why did I suddenly decide to do something as utterly uncharacteristic as spend a gorgeous sunny southern California day at Point Loma?  I’m not entirely sure.  Maybe I was tired of being “responsible and reliable.”  Maybe I was in a rut and wanted to stir some spontaneity into my schedule.  Maybe I wanted to “carpe diem.”  Seize the day.  Instead of the other way around.

It was a day worth seizing – wading, beachcombing, sand castle-building, soaking up some rays.  Lunching under swaying palms.  Sucking in huge chunks of salt-spiced sea spray.  (Okay, I also finished two essays, a book report, studied for exams and updated my Day Planner to a year out.  Nobody’s perfect.)

Know what I discovered on that hooky day at Point Loma?  Playing hooky is fun.  Delicious.  I don’t remember diddly from most of my lecture notes, exams, textbooks or Day Planner, but I remember that “hooky day” like it was yesterday.  There was something about seizing the day that was… soul-stretching.  Refreshing.  Recharging.  Energizing. Effervescent.

I loved it.

I celebrate my fiftieth birthday in a couple days.  It feels weird.  Like I should feel …. different somehow.  Older.  Wiser.  “Mature.”  Whatever that means.  On one hand I feel I’m way too young to be that old.  I mean, my mom was fifty!  On the other, it seems my half-century status is supposed to result in pearls of wisdom and sage sagacity.  Kind of like a modern Oracle of Delphi.

Truth is, I’ve never gotten the hang of that oracle thing.  Most of what I’ve learned and gleaned in my five decades isn’t all that earth-shattering: Put God first.  Honor your parents.  Love your spouse.  Hug your kids.  Work hard.  Serve.  Eat chocolate.  They say “you’re only as old as you feel,” which probably puts me somewhere in the Sesame Street demographic.  Also, “age is all in your head”.  Or hair.  Or hips.  Or… joints?

But like I was saying, “the big 5-0” feels weird.  Like I’m suddenly fair game for the other half of that famous “Titus 2” equation.  Well.  I’m not exactly turning cartwheels over that “older woman” bit.  There are still plenty of other “olders” out there, thank you very much.  If they’re real “olders,” I’ll pass.

Maybe you know the type.  They rehearse their daily litany of moans and groans, aches and pains with the regularity of day following night.  They’ve kept records of all the people who’ve wronged them over the years.  They’re gonna get even one of these days.  Or they spend so much time resting on their laurels and looking back at “the good ‘ole days” that “carpe diem” would give them whiplash.

These are the folks who take life and faith dead serious and you better too, bub, if you know what’s good for you.  Wait a minute. This phenomenon isn’t unique to the Geritol crowd, is it?  Some things transcend age:

- Comparing kids, outfits, income and accessories so the other person always gets short shrift

- Mammoth-sized me-ism

- Excising “I’m sorry” from vocabularies like it’s malignant

- Crammed closets compensating for shallow souls

- External busyness hiding internal barrenness

What did the Lord Jesus say about this?  Plenty.  But an almost-fifty year favorite is John 10:10b:

“… I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

In other words, carpe diem.  Seize the day.  Reach out.  Restore.  Get real.  Laugh.  Apologize.  Play hooky once in a while.  Grab your kids and scarf down that second banana split, guilt-free.  (If you can’t find your kids or don’t have any, borrow some.  Jesus did.)

While I’m hoping the cost of cake candles doesn’t break the bank this year, I have some regrets from the past 18, 262 days.  Some shoulda-woulda-couldas.  But I’ve never regretted that hooky day.  Don’t tell anyone, but I sometimes wish I’d taken more.

A few things I can tell you from my perch here in the middle-age rafters is that raspberry white chocolate cheesecake tastes better when it’s shared.  Lucy and Ethel in the bon-bon factory deserve an Emmy.  Toothpaste can’t be squeezed back into the tube.  It’s amazing how much less I know at age 50 than I did at 18.  Family, faith and friends matter most.  Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  And while sapphire-skied, sun-soaked days are perfect for playing hooky, carpe diem is for every day.  Life’s too short not to.

By Kristine, author, blogger, humorist, homeschooler.  Old Geezer.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Psalm 37:5,6

On Saturday, I had to have a little life talk with Carson.  Thursday night he had told us that he was going to go to school on Saturday and work a concession stand for one of the games.  It would give him service hours for National Junior Honor Society.  No problem, Bobby said he’d run him over and then go pick him up when he was done.

But we had a full week this past week and had been out on Friday night at a friend’s for dinner, and when Saturday morning rolled around, Carson was tired and decided he didn’t want to get up and go to school to work, he’d rather stay home and hang out with Chase.  And the more Bobby tried to encourage him to go, the more adament Carson became that he didn’t want to.

I asked Carson if he had committed to working this event.  He said, “No”, he’d just told them he might be there. 

I explained to Carson that he could stay home this one time, because he’d not made a commitment, but that it was very important to honor his word, whether he was tired or not.  If he said he was going to do something, he must honor that.

I work with a lot of volunteers at church.  Some are always on time, always doing what they said they would do.  Others … not so much.

Yesterday, our Pastor was talking about our commitments to God.  We make vows with him on Sunday, when we’re caught up in the emotion of the moment … we say, YES LORD, but then by Tuesday or Wednesday, we’ve let life get the best of us and we are back to … “No God, can’t do that right now.”

I want my little Carson to grow into a man of character … in life and with God.

I want to grow into a woman of character … in life and with God.

Father, thank you for teaching me how to be a woman of character.  I want your character, your spirit to fill me up, to flow through me, to flow out of me.  And Jesus, please teach my little Carson the same lesson.

I love you Jesus!
   In Your Name I Pray,
   Amen

God’s Blessings Upon You!

Love,
Joyce

The Choices You Make Today …
Will Affect Your Tomorrow.
http://www.alifedecision.org

Life has its challenges and tough moments.  There are those things that come along that bring sorrow, tragedy, and unhappiness into our lives. Anyone who is alive experiences those times! But what do you do as a parent when these times come? Do you hide these times and feelings from your children? Do you try to pretend like everything will be all right even when you’re not sure that it will?
 
I believe that it’s important to be honest with our children. Children are pretty smart – smarter than we give them credit for most times. Usually, they have a hint or clue that something is going on. They might even know what that “something” could be. But oftentimes, they don’t address it because they sense our feelings on the subject.
 
I would much rather create an environment where my children come to me with their curious nature and inquisitive questions. I’d rather they know what is going on (on a level they can understand) while I am there to guide them, support them and somehow help them understand it. If I don’t share the tough and sad things in life with them, how will they be able to deal with those disappointments and sorrows when they are older? I don’t think they will know how and I would worry that they would be overcome and overwhelmed.
 
Life gives us many lessons to learn. How great it is when these lessons come for our children while they are still in our homes so that we can be there for them and with them – learning and growing together. We don’t often do them any favors by hiding the ugly stuff of life from them. We don’t want to inundate them with it, or create unnatural fears – but we do want to softly guide them into experiencing and navigating these times.
 
All children learn from you when you aren’t honest with them about the tough stuff in life is that they can’t trust you. Or, that you don’t trust them enough to share it with them. It’s important to let them know that you realize they are feeling the effects of the situation or circumstance just as you are, and that you value how it may feel being in their shoes. Give them some credit and allow them the chance to show you that they can rise up and be part of a supportive “home team” in navigating life together with you. You may just learn some things from them as you strive to teach them how to learn to be strong when the winds of life blow hard.
~ Visit Dionna’s parenting blog at http://InfluencingLives.blogspot.com

At Bible Study this week, my friends and I were discussing “passions” – those things that we feel strongly about. According to Quentin Hakenewerth, S.M., “a passion is emotional energy which is attached to some goal or object. Passions help us become lively and resourceful persons.” However, we need to attach this energy to something that is worthwhile. “Saint John gives us three criteria for recognizing passions which are harmful and ego-centered: those which 1) pursue pleasure for its own sake; 2) crave possessions for their own sake; 3) covet status, titles, or rank to build up our image in the eyes of others (cf. 1 Jn 2:16).” On the other hand, one can never be too passionate about those things that come from God – “love, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (cf. Gal 5:22-24).

Everyone has something that gets their inner fires burning, and thankfully, these things generally coincide with gifts that have been bestowed upon them from God. The combination of our talents and our passions is the fuel which keeps us going in life. It is the impetus for civilization and relationships and contributions to society. The women whom I am lucky to call friends are all passionate people, yet when we got to the question “Describe a passion you have, for example, a desire to achieve some goal or work on a particular project which gives you lots of energy. What can you do to develop this passion?” the room became eerily silent. We are all mothers, and homeschooling mothers at that. There are so many things we would like to do, some desires admittedly more noble than others, yet they are squashed by a lack of time. There is only so much “emotional energy” that one can muster after a full day of parenting. Even when the energy is there, the time and opportunity are not.

It is true – we mothers do have ample opportunity to practice things like love, patience, kindness, generosity, and self-control. Motherhood is a noble pursuit. I know some women who were truly made to be mothers. I, however, am not one of them. I love my children with all my heart and do all I can for them. They were given to me by God and I treasure the gift and acknowledge the responsibility. I was called to homeschool, despite my initial reluctance. It was definitely the right decision for our family. I’m trying to be the very best mom I can be. I know that I am lucky to have this opportunity. Yet, I am more than that. I am more than the person who takes care of the kids and cleans the house (and I admit, I don’t do that chore particularly well). God gave me other gifts. I was also blessed with the opportunity to obtain an advanced education.

Like my friends, I do try to make use of my passions and talents to contribute to the world at large. It is always in small doses, however. I’ve had older mothers assure me that the day will come when I will get the opportunity to make more use of my gifts. That may be true, or it may not. There is no guarantee that I will live to see that day. Even if I do, there may very well be other people who will need my time and attention – sick parents or caring for grandchildren, for example. The future is a great unknown. All I have is today and the circumstances I find myself in. The unfulfilled desires are frustrating. I sometimes wonder why God made me, what my purpose is in the big scheme of things. I have to trust that he knows better than I do my reason for being here. All I can do is keep going, praying and trying to do the best I can with the time I have. Another wise woman at Bible Study (I told you I was lucky to be among these women!) reminded us all of the importance of acceptance. I need to work on that. I need to be happy where I am and let God take care of the restlessness in my heart.

by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur
http://spiritualwomanthoughts.blogspot.com

November stretches, rubs her eyes

Spits soggy plumes and frosty sighs

Her bite numbs feet and face and ears

My breath takes flight, then disappears.

~~~

A feeble sun stoops low to drink

From rushing rivers, steals a chink

Of blushing maples, ginger breeze

Ignites a fire to tips of trees.

~~~

Soft sky strums autumnal air

Flings a fleece of golden glare

Clings to trees, crowns mountain pass

Turns them into amber glass.

~~~

Coppered leaves come boating down

Glide gently into molten mounds

Branches dip, flutter damp and drew

December soon hoves into view.

~~~

Shared by Kristine, author, blogger, humorist, professional mom, homeschooler and chief wrangler at the ‘ole testosterone ranch.

“They came to the chief priests and elders, and said, “We have bound ourselves under a great oath that we will eat nothing until we have killed Paul.”” Acts 23:14 NKJV

As I pondered over this verse I thought of rules versus righteousness. There were about forty Jews who took this oath to kill Paul. These men were angry enough to take a pledge to kill someone.  But to let anger drive you to make hasty decisions you will regret later is not only foolishness but it is sin.  The Bible teaches “in your anger do not sin” (Psalm 4:4 NIV).

According to these Jews the rules had to be followed.  Anyone who rejected the rules would be punished.  Isn’t that just like man? We make a rule and expect others to follow it.  When they don’t, we say they deserve punishment.  If God wanted us to follow rules, He wouldn’t have sent His Son, Jesus.  For God said, “This is my Son, whom I love and I am well pleased.  Listen to Him.” (Matthew 17:5 NIV)

These Jews were so bent on following a rule of taking an oath they were blind to how wrong their planned action was.   Paul did nothing worthy of death, yet these men were willing to deny them self food and water until they killed him. Killing someone without cause is wrong.  Jesus took this a step further saying even being angry at your brethren without cause puts us in danger of judgment (Matthew 5:22 NKJV).

The thing is we usually think we have a just cause, don’t we?  That’s where righteousness comes in. Righteousness defined by Merriam Webster is acting in accord with divine or moral law: free from guilt or sin and morally right or justifiable.  The Bible teaches us in Psalm 14:3 NKJV “They have all turned aside, they have together become corrupt; There is none who does good, no, not one”.  No one is good, except God.  Our righteousness is worthless in His sight.  The only righteousness that is worth its weight in gold comes from God Himself.  These Jews were not practicing righteousness that comes from God, but what comes from man.  If they were following God, I’m sure they would have remembered Exodus 21:14 NKJV “But if a man schemes and kills another man deliberately, take him away from my altar and put him to death.”

Next time anger tries to over take you, stop and ask your self “Why am I angry?”, “Am I trying to get someone to follow my rule?”, “Am I acting in accord with God’s Word?” Submit to the Lord, resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7).   God’s righteousness is what we need, not rules.

Lord thank you for your precious word and your Holy Spirit who reveals your truth to us.  Thank you for your righteousness that sets us free from rules and brings us into relationship with you.  Help us in every way grow into your likeness.  In Jesus’ name we pray Amen.

© Elizabeth Marks, author of ThinkOnIt Devotions and has a heart for encouraging others with God’s Word.  For more devotions, bible studies and a recommended book store, visit http://www.ThinkOnItDevotions.com today.

 ”God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission – I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. Somehow, I am necessary for His purposes, as necessary in my place as an Archangel in His. If, indeed, I fail, He can raise another, as He could make the stones children of Abraham. Yet I have a part in this great work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it, if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling.

Therefore, I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away.”

~ Henry Newman

Shared by: Kristine, author, blogger, humorist, homeschooler, professional mom, chocolate lover.