“Hauntings”

“I am haunted by waters” is the final elegiac line in A River Runs Through It (Columbia Pictures, 1992). Directed by Robert Redford, this remarkable, enigmatic film tells the story of two brothers, sons of a Presbyterian minister, who grow up in rural Montana in the early 20^th century. Mark Isham’s hauntingly beautiful score echoes the rippling undercurrents and eddying emotion swirling through this story of bittersweet reminiscence. It’s a masterpiece of thoughtful, poignant story-telling, ending with “I am haunted by waters.”

“To haunt” is a verb.  Its secondary meaning is:  “To visit often, to frequent.” Or, “to recur continually. To linger or remain in profusion; pervade.”

What are you “haunted” by?

What person, conversation, event, situation, relationship visits you often – recurs or lingers frequently? Maybe it’s that annoying neighbor with the blaring music or the snarling dog.  The colleague who keeps cheating you and getting away with it. The insufferable in-laws. The teen who Knows Everything – especially how much smarter (s)he is than you. Or maybe it’s that person you see in church every Sunday while feigning blindness. You may be haunted by financial stress, a shameful past, or a ruptured relationship that no amount of caring or coaxing can mend.

What are you haunted by? And the bigger question, the real question is, Why?

It could be that the enemy is trying to stir the embers of accusation and stoke up its twin sister, despair. Or maybe God is trying to get your attention, teach you something you need to know. Grow you up.

Maybe something else is going on? Could this kind of “haunting” be God bringing something to the surface, a wound, a relationship, or an unresolved issue bubbling up like a spring so that we’ll invite him in and let him take over to cleanse, make whole, and replace our “haunting” with His purifying and healing?

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells…” (Psalm 46:4, NIV)

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By Kristine, professional mom, homeschooler, author, blogger, humorist, and chief wrangler at “the ‘ole testosterone farm.”

Exploring the delightful, sometimes dangerous and often mysterious realm of Christian womanhood: http://www.HEvencense.wordpress.com

All about books: http://www.thegr8tlion.blogspot.com

Loving our Fellow Mothers

The greatest commandment tells us to “Love God and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.” Sometimes it seems that the hardest “neighbors” for us mothers to love are our fellow mothers. The “mommy wars” are so much a part of life. If a group of mothers gets together and any parenting subject comes up, chances are there will be a debate on the “correct” way to parent. The battles start even when a child is still in the womb. There are the big topics of course such as working vs. staying-at-home or breast-feeding vs. bottle feeding. There are many other smaller hot-button topics as well: natural vs. medicated childbirth, public vs. private vs. home education, whether to celebrate Halloween or not, the proper way to feed one’s family, co-sleeping vs. having a child sleep alone, comforting a child at night when he is crying vs. letting him cry it out, how to discipline, the correct way to bring up a child in the faith, and the list goes on.

We mothers don’t necessarily intend to be mean or critical of other mothers. Rather, we simply want to do the best for our children.  Parenting can be so hard and we don’t know how things will turn out for at least twenty years. There is always the element of uncertainty. We each make the decisions that we feel are right. We get so invested in the choices and sacrifices we make. It is easy to think that if we have made the right choices, than different choices must therefore be wrong. We also sometimes feel so certain of our choices that we try to convince others that they should follow the same path.

So, then, what is a mother to do? How can we be comfortable with our own choices, while respecting the choices of others? The answer does lie in that great commandment to love one another. There is an old adage not to judge another person until one has walked a mile in her shoes. While mothers have many things in common, the journey each mother takes is unique. We each come to parenting with different backgrounds and experiences. We each have different levels of support from our spouses (or lack thereof), our extended families, and friends. We have different health issues and personal abilities. We have different economic realities that we need to deal with. Perhaps most importantly, we have different children. Parents with more than one child know that what works for one child doesn’t always work for a different child, even when those children come from the same gene pool. The “right” decision for one child isn’t always the “right” decision for another child. Different stages of life also can require different choices.

Perhaps the next time we are tempted to judge another mother or the decisions she has made, we can step back and take a moment to reflect. We can remember that we don’t want our parenting to be judged and that we should give others the same curtesy. We can also remember that motherhood is hard and we don’t know what challenges the mothers we encounter are facing. We can recall that Jesus told us to love one another.  We need to respect and support our fellow mothers on this difficult journey. We need to stand by each other and encourage each other, not tear each other down. Hopefully, then, the “mommy wars” could come to an end.

-Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

http://spiritualwomanthoughts.blogspot.com

Walking Through The Dark

I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

John 8:12

 

I was at my doctor’s today, discussing some things I could do to help me sleep.  I have been having a terrible time sleeping lately.   He suggested I take a brisk walk after dinner.  Well, by the time I got ready to go outside, it was very dark.  I didn’t want to go by myself, so I asked Chase if he’d go with me.  He was agreeable, and off we went.  But by the time we got to the driveway, we realized how dark it was, so we ran back to the house, grabbed flashlights and off we went again.

 

Chase was so excited, it was a big adventure for him.  Running - walking through the night.  He was running, I was walking.  And then he’d come back and walk with me a bit, chattering the whole way. 

 

It was a nice time and I told him how much I appreciated him going with me.

 

I was thinking how different the experience would have been, had I been by myself, without any light.  It would have been a bit scary.  I live out in the woods, there are no street lights around.  But with Chase beside me, all was good in our little world.

 

I used to stumble through life, in the darkness, and it was very scary.  Then one day, I found the light of Jesus and a good friend to walk with me and my world changed, and it’s been an exciting adventure ever since.

 

 

Father, thank you for shining your light on me.  And for giving me friends, to walk through this adventure with.  And most of all, for that special little boy, who is truly one of my most favorite people!!

 

I Love You Jesus.

       In Your Name I Pray,
      Amen

God Bless You!

Love,
Joyce

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Joyce Schneider
http://www.alifedecision.org

You’ll Never Leave Me Poppi?

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life.  As I was with Moses, so I will

be with you .  I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Joshua 1:5

 

The other day, at Chase’s soccer game, I saw the sweetest thing.  A little boy wanted to

go into the restroom, but he didn’t want his dad to leave the park without him.  The park

is very full on Saturday mornings, people everywhere and he was afraid of getting seperated from his father.   He was standing outside the door, and he looked over at his

dad and said, “You’ll never leave me Poppi?”  And the man looked at his son, smiled and shook his head, “No, I won’t leave you.”

 

The little boy had such a huge smile on his face as he turned to go inside.  It really

touched my heart.  The faith of a child.

 

That little guy knew his dad would be waiting for him when he came out.

 

Sometimes life can get pretty flipped around.  People in and out of our lives … craziness going on everywhere.  But one thing we can be sure of, God is faithful … he will never

leave us.  He is always right there, waiting for us.  Wanting to protect us.  Loving us.

 

I have been feeling a bit discongloberated lately … life stuff.  I was driving along today listening to a book and it ended and I clicked on my radio.  A song came on, not even

sure now what the song was, but it was the coolest thing.  Right there and then it was

like God was with me in the car, bringing me his peace.  Letting me know that he loved

me and he’d never leave me.  It was the neatest thing!   I didn’t even ask … he just knew I needed his presence.

 

I felt like that little guy from the park … my Poppi was there for me!

 

Father, thank you for your faithfulness.  You are so very good.  Thank you Lord, that the same

promise you gave to Joshua so many years ago, applies to each and every one of your children

today.  You are the very best Poppi!!

 

     I Love You Jesus.
      In Your Name I Pray,
      Amen

God Bless You!

Love,
Joyce

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My story:
http://www.alifedecision.org

Comfort Clothes

Some people eat food for comfort. Mashed potatoes, meatloaf and gravy do nothing for me, but give me a thread bare pair of jeans and a fleece sweatshirt and life is easier for me to face …

Yesterday was a sad day. An old friend passed away on Wednesday, and my heart was hurting. I got up to go to work and the sky was as overcast as my mind. And although it wasn’t really cold enough to warrant the sweatshirt, it also wasn’t hot enough to discard it, so on it went. I needed it’s comfort.

I walked into one of my regular stops and the girl behind the desk asked me if it was cold outside. I told her no … and she looked at me funny and asked why I had on a sweatshirt.

I told her I was wearing my comfort clothes … and she smiled and said she hoped they helped.

They did …

There are many things we can find comfort in … good and bad. I used to find comfort in alcohol. Although it wasn’t really comfort, it was numbing. If I drank enough, I didn’t have to face what was going on in my life.

Some people find comfort in work … some in sleeping … some in drugs … the list is endless.

My jeans and sweatshirt are harmless … but honestly, the only true comfort in life comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I was talking to my friend’s dad last night, telling him how sorry I was that his son was gone. And he shared with me his faith in God and how that was sustaining him through this horrible trial.

We talked for a bit about how God was the only answer. That without a relationship with him, well, there just wasn’t much to look forward to. We live and we die … but when we know Jesus, we have the promise of eternal life with Him.

I hung up the phone from talking with this very wise man and God’s peace permeated my soul.

My prayer for you today is that God’s peace is your comfort, no matter what trial you are walking through and that these words are the cry of your heart:

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Psalm 23

Father, I thank you for the promise of eternal life, with you. Lord I pray your comfort upon all those who are grieving today and I ask you to wrap them up in your arms and bring them the peace that can only come from you.

I Love You Jesus.
In Your Name I Pray,
Amen

God Bless You!

Love,
Joyce

Submitted by:
Joyce Schneider
http://www.alifedecision.org

Waving Good Bye

All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children’s peace.

Isaiah 54:13

 

I was sitting on my front steps this morning watching Carson ride off on his bike, to catch the school bus.  He was about halfway down the driveway, when he turned around and waved to me.  At the end of the driveway, he waved again, and then as he headed off down the street, he called out, “Good bye Mom”, and waved again.

 

My heart nearly burst.  He was so cute.

 

On Tuesday, I missed my weekly ladies group, because it was Meet The Teacher night at Chase’s school.  I hate to miss study, but it was more important to me to be in Chase’s classroom that night.  How could I expect him to be excited with school, if I had no interest in what he was learning?  When I let Cindy know I was not going to be at study, and the reason why, her response was, “You’re such a good mom.”

 

I thought about how I wasn’t a good mom for so many years.  I always loved the boys’ and I wanted to be a good mom, but my head seemed to be so messed up, I just didn’t seem to do the mom thing the right way.

 

Back in those days, Bobby was working all the time in the restaurant business and I was home alone with two little boys, Carson was 20 months old when Chase was born and it seemed like I just wished my days away, because it was such a struggle, taking care of the two of them, mostly by myself. 

 

And Carson was a very perceptive little boy and there were many years that I felt isolated from him.  I think he understood that something wasn’t right in me and he steered away from me and gravitated to his dad.  They were always close and it was easy for him to be Daddy’s boy.

 

When Jesus came into my life and healed my hearts and my hurts, I started praying for him to show me how to be a good mother to the boys.  I did studies by Denise Glenn on mothering and read all I could about being a Godly mother.  And I prayed for wisdom … how to do this mother thing, God’s way.

 

I don’t feel like I have the market on mothering … we still have our moments.  But by the Grace of God, life is very different at the Schneider home.  This morning, when my little Carson gave me a big hug before he left, told me he loved me and then waved to me all the way down the street … well, all I could say was, “Thank you Jesus!”

 

 

 

Father, thank you for showing me how to love these two precious little boys that you have given to Bobby and I.  And thank you for healing my heart … so that I could be the mother to them, that they deserve.   Lord, you have given them to me, and I in turn give them back to you, keep them safe and protect them and help them to grow up to be wise Godly men who put you first in their lives!

 

I Love You Jesus.
      In Your Name I Pray,
      Amen

God Bless You!

Love,
Joyce

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Submitted by:

Joyce Schneider
http://www.alifedecision.org

 

 

Learning to Love

It would seem that love just comes naturally, and so it does. Babies come into this world hard-wired to attach to their mothers. We also have a natural drive once we reach puberty to search out a mate. Yet, for many, the ability to feel and/or show true healthy love has been diminished due to growing up in an abusive home or one in which love simply wasn’t expressed as much as it should have been. Many people need to learn how to show love to those nearest to them.

Dr. Gary Chapman has written several books focusing on five love languages. His main premise is that there are five primary ways that people communicate their love to those close to them. Each person has one of these languages that helps them feel the most loved, but most people do appreciate all of them to some degree. Making the effort to express all five to those close to us will help to make sure that those we care most about go through life feeling loved. It will also help our homes be happier places to live. The five love languages are: verbal affirmation, spending quality time, giving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Verbal affirmation means to offer praise and appreciation for the things that our loved ones do. It can also mean to offer encouragement when someone is going through a difficult time. Parenting books and magazines have been preaching the value of positive discipline for years. While one certainly needs to use negative consequences for bad behavior, it is of vital importance to praise and reinforce good behavior. Children need to know that they are good (at least most of the time), that they have God-given gifts, and most of all, that they are loved for the special person that God has made them to be. Our spouses need that type of praise as well. It is often easy to take our spouses for granted, to overlook the things that they do every day. Going to work each day or doing the laundry for the hundred and second time may not be glamorous, but a simple “thank you” goes a long way to helping someone feel appreciated for all the effort that he or she puts in. Also, never underestimate the simple power of saying “I love you.” Both our spouses and our children need to hear it.

Spending quality time with those we love is another way of demonstrating how much they mean to us. Quality time means focusing one’s full attention on the other. Yes, many times during the course of a day we need to divide our attention. We may need to talk to our children or our spouse while we are making supper or folding laundry. Every day, however, we should make an effort to really focus on the other person for a while, without multi-tasking. Perhaps that means doing a fun activity together. Playing a board game or participating in sports can be a great way to spend time with those we love. Taking a few minutes during the day, perhaps at night right before bed, to actually talk to and connect with one’s spouse can go a long way in helping a marriage be more harmonious.

Some people respond best to being given a gift. Everyone likes to know that they are thought of and a gift can be a physical expression of your love. These gifts need not be expensive or overly frequent, but a gift can be seen as an investment in the relationship especially for those who do not feel loved without them.

What acts of service help your spouse or your children feel most loved? Perhaps they appreciate having their lunch made each day for them. Perhaps knowing that you always fill up the gas tank helps them feel cared for. Having the coffee maker going in the morning can be a sign of love. There are so many opportunities throughout the day to serve those we live with. While many may go unnoticed, there are certain actions that are definitely appreciated. Take the time to find out what those acts are and make those a priority.
Physical touch is also a very important way of showing love. Hugs and kisses for our children are vitally important. While they may reach an age when they no longer appreciate this type of contact, a hand on the shoulder or gentle squeeze of the hand can still convey our love. Our spouses may have different types of touch that they feel most comfortable with. Some like frequent hugs and kisses. Others may be more reserved in their affection. Once again, it is necessary to discover what makes one’s spouse feel loved, as well as to communicate one’s own needs. This is important with more intimate expressions of love as well.

These five ways of loving provide a strong blueprint for learning how to demonstrate our love to those around us. While for many people these acts just come naturally, most of us can use the gentle reminder to make sure that those around us do feel loved. It is easy to fall into old routines and to stop paying as much attention as we should to those we live with. Having concrete ways to show our love can be a tremendous help in improving our closest relationships. To find out more about Dr. Gary Chapman and the Five Love Languages, please visit: www.fivelovelanguages.com.

Visit Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur’s blog at http://spiritualwomanthoughts.blogspot.com

“A Rare Face”

“If I am to be like Jesus then I must have a rare face.  How tragic when people hide their life marks through plastic surgery and cosmetic coverings.  One only need recall the wizened, world-weary, impish face of Mother Teresa to get an image of the nature of delight.  Let my hair flee and my face sag!  Let my body decay and the creases of suffering show.  It is not brush-stroked beauty that draws the heart; it is the rare presence of delight (in the Risen One) that captures us for the journey.”

- Dan Allender, Ph.D., The Healing Path [p. 202,203]

Shared by Kristine, professional mom, homeschooler, author, blogger, and chief wrangler at “the old testosterone farm.”

For more, visit: http://www.HEvencense.wordpress.com or http://wwwthegr8lion.blogspot.com (all about Books!)

The Best News

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38,39

 

Yesterday I stopped by the church to drop off something.  As I walked into the offices, Pastor Andrew saw me and said, “Tell me some good news Joyce.”   I told him, “Jesus loves you!”  One of the other pastor’s said, “That’s the best news.”   And they started singing the little song that we all learn as children, Jesus loves me this I know …

 

I wasn’t having a very good day yesterday.  It was a combination of a lot of things and it seemed like the more I tried to not let things get me down, the worse I felt.  By the time I went to bed last night, I was weary and discouraged. 

 

This morning, when I awoke, I still had that heaviness in my heart.  I was determined to not let it get the best of me today.  I didn’t want to spend my day down and out.  I was eating breakfast and I put one of my favorite songs on, and I laid my head on the kitchen table and asked Jesus to heal my heart. 

 

And as the song played, I got this picture in my head of me, as a little girl, running up to Jesus, and he reached down and picked me up, put me on his lap and hugged me close.  And when the song was over and I opened my eyes, my spirit had lifted. 

 

Tonight, at church, Pastor Andrew ended the service with a song … It went:

 

Jesus loves me

This I know

For the Bible

Tells me so.

 

Little ones to him belong

They are weak

But he is strong.

 

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

The Bible tells me so.

 

Guys, that is the best news we could receive.  The world is falling apart … QUICKLY. 

 

BUT Jesus loves you!!!   He wants to reach down, pick you up, hug you close and heal your heart. 

 

Father, thank you for loving me. 

 

I Love You Jesus.
      In Your Name I Pray,
      Amen

God Bless You!

Love,
Joyce

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Submitted By:

Joyce Schneider
http://www.alifedecision.org

“You Have Our Attention”

The first response to any crisis is prayer; urgent and honest prayer. Before we turn to money managers and governments, let’s turn to the Maker of the Universe.

You Have Our Attention, Lord A prayer by Max Lucado – October 2008 Our friends lost their house The co-worker lost her job The couple next door lost their retirement It seems that everyone is losing their footing This scares us. This bailout with billions. These rumblings of depression. These headlines: ominous, thunderous - “Going Broke!” “Going Down!” “Going Under!” “What’s Next?” What is next? We’re listening. And we’re admitting: You were right. You told us this would happen. You shot straight about loving stuff and worshipping money. Greed will break your heart, You warned. Money will love you and leave you. Don’t put your hope in riches that are so uncertain. You were right. Money is a fickle lover and we just got dumped. We were wrong to spend what we didn’t have. Wrong to neglect prayer and ignore the poor. Wrong to think we ever earned a dime. We didn’t. You gave it. And now, tell us Father, are You taking it? We’re listening. And we’re praying. Could you make something good out of this mess? Of course You can. You always have. You led slaves out of slavery, Built temples out of ruins, Turned stormy waves into a glassy pond and water into sweet wine. This disorder awaits your order. So do we. Through Christ, Amen God will always give what is right to His people who cry to Him night and day, and He will not be slow to answer them. (Luke 18:7 NCV)

For the video version: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=f44f74a55853fe9348a2

Shared by Kristine, author, blogger, homeschooler, humorist and “chief wrangler” at the ‘ole testosterone farm.

Exploring biblical womanhood: http://www.HEvencense.wordpress.com

All about books: http://thegr8tlion.blogspot.com